To Jacey (when she doesn't get the correct lip gloss): You get what you get and.....
Jacey: You don't throw a pig.
Well OK then. That works, too.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Singing, I Love you
Me (in a singsong voice): I love you, Jacey.
Have I said that enough today/
Jacey: Say it lots and lots.
Me: I love you, I love you, I love you.
Do you like it when Mommy says 'I love you'?
Jacey: Yes, it makes my heart feel warm and happy.
.....this girl....she melts my heart.
Monday, January 05, 2015
Jacey's Initial Eye Appointment
Jacey's regular eye appointment in December (December 31st, actually) showed signs of retinitis pigmentosa (RP) in both eyes during her retinal photos.
Thanks, 2014, for that one last punch in the gut...you weren't kind to me. Not at all, so thanks for getting that last one in as you were being ushered out the door.
We had gone through the entire visit and it had become obvious that Jacey is farsighted in both eyes and also has astigmatism in both eyes. One eye is markedly worse than the other. While she was sitting on the examination chair, she remarked to the doctor, "This eye" (and pointed to the eye that had examined worse) "doesn't work." I was floored. Completely and totally taken aback. She had never mentioned anything like that to me before, and I was totally caught off-guard by that comment.
The doctor, a stand-in for our 'normal' doctor, who was on vacation that week, was looking at the photos as I walked back into the room from a conversation with hubby, as I had let him know this appointment was taking much longer than we had originally anticipated. The doctor and I had already discussed the need for Jacey to have glasses based on how the appointment had gone so far, and I was anticipating going to the lobby upon the conclusion of our appointment to try some on and select some with her.
Well, the doctor turned to me, with a look I'm not sure I can describe on her face. It was a combination of "I have bad news and really don't want to share it" and "Oh CRAP", but at any rate, I read it and immediately said something to the effect of, 'So what do we have?' The doctor went on to indicate that Jacey's retinal photos showed signs consistent with RP.
So I made her go through comparisons....Jaceys's photos with Tatums. Jacey's with Kellen's. Jacey's with mine. Jacey's with a confirmed RP. Jacey's with a normal child around her age. It was clear - even in my limited knowledge, that was I was seeing was very different than what was supposed to be there - except for the similarities between the confirmed RP photos. In those photos Jacey's bone spicules (they show up like black lines) weren't as abundant as the confirmed RP case, but they were there. In both of her eyes.
The doctor immediately suggested that we hold off on getting her glasses until we see a pediatric specialist through Houston Eye Associates, and that their office would research which of the doctors through that office (they have many) specialized in this disorder group so we were seeing the best doctor for her issue and that they would call us early next week (despite it being a Wednesday, we were rolling into the New Year's Holiday) with that information so that I could call Houston Eye Associates to schedule the initial consultation.
And that was that.
Jacey and I walked into the lobby and she immediately asked, "So do I get my glasses today?"
I responded with a calm, "No, we have to go see another doctor about your eyes first, honey." It was all I could do to hold it all inside...a swirl of emotions whirling. It wasn't as if RP was new to me...I have immediate family members with it. I know what this looks like day in-day out. But this is my baby. These were my genes that did this to her.
Kellen overheard my response to her, since he had come with us to get his glasses adjusted and immediately started in with, "But Mom, why isn't she getting her glasses today? Mom, did you hear me? Mom....why isn't she getting them today?" Then a quieter, "Mom, what's wrong with her eyes and why does she have to see another doctor?"
I turned to him and simply said, "The doctor here wants another doctor to look at her eyes because she has special eyes....Your eyes and my eyes are normal eyes and they only need one doctor. Hers are special."
Although I thought that was a pretty good answer, it didn't satisfy big brother for long. His questions continued as we left the doctors office, got into the car, and headed home...my emotions got ever-closer to the surface, threatening to spill over.
I quietly said to him, "Honey, I need to talk about this all with your Daddy. If he and I think there is something you and your sisters need to know, we will tell you. But let me talk to your DADDY first. STOP asking me questions."
When I walked through the door my hubby was outside chopping wood for the fireplace. He popped his head inside and asked nonchalantly, "So, how did it go?"
"I need to talk with you." was what I mustered.
He motioned for me to come outside while he was chopping wood....and something on my face must have given it away, because in his joking manner, he said, "Just tell me she isn't going to be blind."
And at that moment, I could no longer stop the tears....."She has it" was all I could say.
And we both knew...we had been watching for this with all of the kids and it had arrived.
God help us.
The only thing either of us can say is that she is still the same Jacey....the one that God created. The one that is fearfully and wonderfully made...by Him. He made her JUST the way HE wanted her to be. And my God, hubby's God, JACEY'S GOD...He doesn't make mistakes.
So there is a reason for all of this.
Thanks, 2014, for that one last punch in the gut...you weren't kind to me. Not at all, so thanks for getting that last one in as you were being ushered out the door.
We had gone through the entire visit and it had become obvious that Jacey is farsighted in both eyes and also has astigmatism in both eyes. One eye is markedly worse than the other. While she was sitting on the examination chair, she remarked to the doctor, "This eye" (and pointed to the eye that had examined worse) "doesn't work." I was floored. Completely and totally taken aback. She had never mentioned anything like that to me before, and I was totally caught off-guard by that comment.
The doctor, a stand-in for our 'normal' doctor, who was on vacation that week, was looking at the photos as I walked back into the room from a conversation with hubby, as I had let him know this appointment was taking much longer than we had originally anticipated. The doctor and I had already discussed the need for Jacey to have glasses based on how the appointment had gone so far, and I was anticipating going to the lobby upon the conclusion of our appointment to try some on and select some with her.
Well, the doctor turned to me, with a look I'm not sure I can describe on her face. It was a combination of "I have bad news and really don't want to share it" and "Oh CRAP", but at any rate, I read it and immediately said something to the effect of, 'So what do we have?' The doctor went on to indicate that Jacey's retinal photos showed signs consistent with RP.
So I made her go through comparisons....Jaceys's photos with Tatums. Jacey's with Kellen's. Jacey's with mine. Jacey's with a confirmed RP. Jacey's with a normal child around her age. It was clear - even in my limited knowledge, that was I was seeing was very different than what was supposed to be there - except for the similarities between the confirmed RP photos. In those photos Jacey's bone spicules (they show up like black lines) weren't as abundant as the confirmed RP case, but they were there. In both of her eyes.
The doctor immediately suggested that we hold off on getting her glasses until we see a pediatric specialist through Houston Eye Associates, and that their office would research which of the doctors through that office (they have many) specialized in this disorder group so we were seeing the best doctor for her issue and that they would call us early next week (despite it being a Wednesday, we were rolling into the New Year's Holiday) with that information so that I could call Houston Eye Associates to schedule the initial consultation.
And that was that.
Jacey and I walked into the lobby and she immediately asked, "So do I get my glasses today?"
I responded with a calm, "No, we have to go see another doctor about your eyes first, honey." It was all I could do to hold it all inside...a swirl of emotions whirling. It wasn't as if RP was new to me...I have immediate family members with it. I know what this looks like day in-day out. But this is my baby. These were my genes that did this to her.
Kellen overheard my response to her, since he had come with us to get his glasses adjusted and immediately started in with, "But Mom, why isn't she getting her glasses today? Mom, did you hear me? Mom....why isn't she getting them today?" Then a quieter, "Mom, what's wrong with her eyes and why does she have to see another doctor?"
I turned to him and simply said, "The doctor here wants another doctor to look at her eyes because she has special eyes....Your eyes and my eyes are normal eyes and they only need one doctor. Hers are special."
Although I thought that was a pretty good answer, it didn't satisfy big brother for long. His questions continued as we left the doctors office, got into the car, and headed home...my emotions got ever-closer to the surface, threatening to spill over.
I quietly said to him, "Honey, I need to talk about this all with your Daddy. If he and I think there is something you and your sisters need to know, we will tell you. But let me talk to your DADDY first. STOP asking me questions."
When I walked through the door my hubby was outside chopping wood for the fireplace. He popped his head inside and asked nonchalantly, "So, how did it go?"
"I need to talk with you." was what I mustered.
He motioned for me to come outside while he was chopping wood....and something on my face must have given it away, because in his joking manner, he said, "Just tell me she isn't going to be blind."
And at that moment, I could no longer stop the tears....."She has it" was all I could say.
And we both knew...we had been watching for this with all of the kids and it had arrived.
God help us.
The only thing either of us can say is that she is still the same Jacey....the one that God created. The one that is fearfully and wonderfully made...by Him. He made her JUST the way HE wanted her to be. And my God, hubby's God, JACEY'S GOD...He doesn't make mistakes.
So there is a reason for all of this.
Friday, January 02, 2015
2015 New Year's Resolution....
My resolution for this year.....I simply want to end the year reflecting Jesus more than at the beginning of the year. This post is perfect for how that might look in different areas of my life.
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