His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!
Matthew 25:21
It's what we strive for, right? The knowledge that our work on earth has meaning - that we're not just doing good....we're trying to do the BEST...making a difference for the kingdom of God in the lives of others. Being faithful with the talents God has bestowed upon us and doing with those talents what He wants us to do.
At 11:02 AM today, I believe that Dr. Royal Benson heard the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" from the ultimate master, and although my heart is so heavy for those he has left behind in his whirlwind illness, his life truly made a difference.
I am completely and 100% confident that my God could have healed him here on this earth. But He didn't.
I don't know why.
It would have been miraculous.
It would have been awesome.
It would have been glorious.
But apparently, it wasn't the BEST.
I don't know how this fits into God's plan. My perspective is that of a pinhead compared to His. I have tunnel vision and I can barely see beyond the pain of those whose lives are hurting because of this loss...including mine.
I mean...I was just his patient. And I called him my friend. He delivered Matt and I's three precious children....Well, if you want to get technical, Matt was the first person to touch and deliver all three kids. He had asked Dr. Benson if we would get a discounted rate if he delivered the kids. After a laugh, Dr. Benson asked how many kids Matt had delivered...after Matt recounted the 'where's' but not the 'how many's' of the delivery's, Dr. Benson's response was, "Good answer,", followed by, "It's up to her" and left the decision up to me. (Sidenote: I did say yes with the requirement that he had to coach until delivery time)
So we had three "Royal deliveries", with him and his staff. I love that. Such a celebration of life.
I don't want to stop and think about what it would have been like to have a doctor who may not have taken me as seriously when I said something just 'didn't feel quite right'....I mean...three deliveries with prolapsed cords, despite all precautionary measures? One with an additional perfect knot in the cord? Diagnosed oligohydramnios (that's low amniotic fluid for those of you not aware)? The roller coaster of twins, losing one, and the emotional turmoil that the remainder of the pregnancy was with each ultrasound after...still wondering, hoping...maybe, just maybe...Twin B was just hiding? Celebrating life and mourning all at the same time...And he never once made me feel silly for any question I asked. In fact, he seemed to love it when I would bring in my notebook with questions already lined out and write his responses down - 'model patient', he would call me. "I did pregnancy well", he would always say, although I never agreed with him. :)
And then dealing with postpartum depression...what doctor reshuffles their vacation because a babbling postpartum patient calls the office and can barely speak the words, "There is something really wrong with me....I can't keep doing this..." After being on hold for just a few minutes, I was told to come into the office immediately - that he was making a special trip to the office to see me. What doctor does that?
Dr. Benson. He does.
And now he's gone.
He welcomed you with, "And how are you today, friend?" or asked about Matt and the kids, or my parents, etc. I don't think I ever saw him without a smile on his face in over 12 years.
And from my pinhole perspective, he lived life well, and served the Lord with the talents that God gave him. And he certainly made a difference in the lives of others. He was a staunch pro-life supporter, which is one of the things I respected about him and that resonated with me - especially when he took some heavy public fire for his stand.
Well done, Dr. Benson. Well done. You will be missed. Your wife and daughter will be in my prayers as they learn to navigate life without you.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
A glimpse.....
So we are still having behavioral issues at school with Tatum. After a discussion with her about her behavior and how to improve upon it, she came up with her own sticker reward system on her calendar for good days both at school and Kids Klub, and a check mark on the days when she behaved well in one or the other.
There aren't many stickers on the calendar.
Needless to say, her daddy and I are frustrated with her choices and behavior. We've talked behavior and choices until we're blue in the face. We have read scripture to her, we have read scripture with her, we have disciplined, we have tried many different things in an attempt to get her to comply with the rules.
The difficult thing for me is to differentiate her behavior from her many times.
She isn't bad - she makes bad choices. Her choices don't define who she is and don't make up the essence of her being.
I still love and adore my daughter, but I don't love and adore the choices that she makes and when she is in the midst of those behaviors, I don't want to be around her.
Hmmm....anyone see any parallels there with our Heavenly Father? It's amazing how much more insight we're able to glean into Him as a heavenly father after being a parent.
At any rate, I occasionally get a glimpse into Tatum's essence...who she really is...and her true sweet self really shines through. I was able to get one such glimpse this week, and it was sorely needed.
Let me explain......
We were discussing her upcoming birthday and planning some party options when she decided she wanted to have a giving party. She told me that she had enough toys already and she wanted to take all of the toys that her friends brought to her party for her and give them to someone who needed them more than she did.
I told her to go tell her daddy, who was about as dumbfounded as I was. (He even posted about it on Facebook, which happens maybe once or twice a year!)
I frequently purge the toys with the kids, and I use that type of language when we do that process to help them understand why we get rid of toys they don't play with or they have outgrown. I will say that I wasn't sure whether the idea of a giving party would be a fleeting one or if it would actually stick.
The next morning, she made a point to ask her daddy if she was going to be able to have a giving birthday party.
It apparently stuck.
Our plan is to have her friends donate toys in the 4-6 year old range for Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach, specifically their Mama Club program. If you are reading this and feel led to donate something to this ministry, please feel free to do so. A large and constant need for this ministry is diapers and wipes for the girls who participate in Mama Club.
There aren't many stickers on the calendar.
Needless to say, her daddy and I are frustrated with her choices and behavior. We've talked behavior and choices until we're blue in the face. We have read scripture to her, we have read scripture with her, we have disciplined, we have tried many different things in an attempt to get her to comply with the rules.
The difficult thing for me is to differentiate her behavior from her many times.
She isn't bad - she makes bad choices. Her choices don't define who she is and don't make up the essence of her being.
I still love and adore my daughter, but I don't love and adore the choices that she makes and when she is in the midst of those behaviors, I don't want to be around her.
Hmmm....anyone see any parallels there with our Heavenly Father? It's amazing how much more insight we're able to glean into Him as a heavenly father after being a parent.
At any rate, I occasionally get a glimpse into Tatum's essence...who she really is...and her true sweet self really shines through. I was able to get one such glimpse this week, and it was sorely needed.
Let me explain......
We were discussing her upcoming birthday and planning some party options when she decided she wanted to have a giving party. She told me that she had enough toys already and she wanted to take all of the toys that her friends brought to her party for her and give them to someone who needed them more than she did.
I told her to go tell her daddy, who was about as dumbfounded as I was. (He even posted about it on Facebook, which happens maybe once or twice a year!)
I frequently purge the toys with the kids, and I use that type of language when we do that process to help them understand why we get rid of toys they don't play with or they have outgrown. I will say that I wasn't sure whether the idea of a giving party would be a fleeting one or if it would actually stick.
The next morning, she made a point to ask her daddy if she was going to be able to have a giving birthday party.
It apparently stuck.
Our plan is to have her friends donate toys in the 4-6 year old range for Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach, specifically their Mama Club program. If you are reading this and feel led to donate something to this ministry, please feel free to do so. A large and constant need for this ministry is diapers and wipes for the girls who participate in Mama Club.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Chaos
Is it normal?
Chaos, I mean.
Is it?
I was messaging with a friend last week (thank goodness for texting technology, or I wouldn't have a clue how my friends were) and remarked that chaos seemed like our normal.
And it does, doesn't it?
Running from school drop off to work to meetings, from one deadline to another, frantically answering emailsduring between meetings in an attempt to stay on top of a technology that was supposed to assist us. But now it feels more like a hampster wheel sometimes...hurrying us to action but not necessarily showing us progress.
But maybe that's just my relationship with email....and scheduling...and chaos.
As I look at our activities, I realize many times that the problem still lies with me...and my mismatch of realistic expectations to time.
Translation --I think I can, and worse yet, should, do it all.
Full time wife
Full time mommy
Full time employee
Ministry with Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach
Involvement in our Sunday School class & church
Upcoming leadership role in national advising organization (unless there is a landslide write-in campaign, which God absolutely can orchestrate)
Ambassador with iBloom
Oh, and did I mention my kids are involved in stuff, too? It's no wonder my life sometimes can feel like the ball inside a pinball machine.
Now, many of these obligations I feel are absolutely supposed to be in my life. They are there because they help to define me. Mold me. Shape me. They are how God is choosing to use and grow me right now.
My challenge doesn't seem to always be the big rocks, but the small stones or pebbles. I've allowed them into my live as invaders of time. Unchecked guests.
And then to top it off, those guests have a tendency to overstay their welcome. They never seem to leave when you thought they were going to so you could refocus your and energy.
Yes, that's when my chaos seems to occur the most.
So it seems the solution is simple....1) ask God about the pebbles and stones and yes-of course the big rocks- and whether they are part of His plan.
Just because I may be able to handle a single pebble doesn't mean I can handle an onslaught of them, especially if my focus should be on the rocks He has already provided me with and is equipping me to face.
2) Ask God to reveal His design and expectations to you. We want what we do to bring Him glory and if we are too busy striving for perfection that we miss the person-we have missed the mark and missed the message. It's the relationship that points toward Him that matters....not the perfect ___________.
So how about it? Does your life have a chaotic corner needing cleaning? If so, will you work on answering these questions (or any others the Lord may put on your heart) and and restore a little peace this week?
Chaos, I mean.
Is it?
I was messaging with a friend last week (thank goodness for texting technology, or I wouldn't have a clue how my friends were) and remarked that chaos seemed like our normal.
And it does, doesn't it?
Running from school drop off to work to meetings, from one deadline to another, frantically answering emails
But maybe that's just my relationship with email....and scheduling...and chaos.
As I look at our activities, I realize many times that the problem still lies with me...and my mismatch of realistic expectations to time.
Translation --I think I can, and worse yet, should, do it all.
Full time wife
Full time mommy
Full time employee
Ministry with Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach
Involvement in our Sunday School class & church
Upcoming leadership role in national advising organization (unless there is a landslide write-in campaign, which God absolutely can orchestrate)
Ambassador with iBloom
Oh, and did I mention my kids are involved in stuff, too? It's no wonder my life sometimes can feel like the ball inside a pinball machine.
Now, many of these obligations I feel are absolutely supposed to be in my life. They are there because they help to define me. Mold me. Shape me. They are how God is choosing to use and grow me right now.
My challenge doesn't seem to always be the big rocks, but the small stones or pebbles. I've allowed them into my live as invaders of time. Unchecked guests.
And then to top it off, those guests have a tendency to overstay their welcome. They never seem to leave when you thought they were going to so you could refocus your and energy.
Yes, that's when my chaos seems to occur the most.
So it seems the solution is simple....1) ask God about the pebbles and stones and yes-of course the big rocks- and whether they are part of His plan.
Just because I may be able to handle a single pebble doesn't mean I can handle an onslaught of them, especially if my focus should be on the rocks He has already provided me with and is equipping me to face.
2) Ask God to reveal His design and expectations to you. We want what we do to bring Him glory and if we are too busy striving for perfection that we miss the person-we have missed the mark and missed the message. It's the relationship that points toward Him that matters....not the perfect ___________.
So how about it? Does your life have a chaotic corner needing cleaning? If so, will you work on answering these questions (or any others the Lord may put on your heart) and and restore a little peace this week?
Friday, February 01, 2013
Awesome Mommy Moment
Many morning Mommy moments don't make my heart flutter and melt. But this morning.....this morning was different.
In this midst of changing a nose-holding-worthy pull-up, I was doing a not-so-hot job of answering 20 questions from Tatum (because I am, of course, trying to be more aware of and not contribute to her 'middle-child syndrome', right?).
But I got flustered.
And my flustered tone can sound a lot like my angry tone to my kids, especially when I have asked them just to get dressed and go eat and we are going to be late again and why are we always late and can't I answer your questions later and WHY aren't you dressed yet....And, well.....you get the point.
After I dealt with the aftermath of the pull-up, I walked into the kitchen, where Kellen asked if I was angry. I then had to explain 'flustered' to him and after doing so, he proceeded to tell me about his devotional from earlier in the morning.....about praying to God for peace in stressful situations or when I got flustered.
'If you ask him, he can give you peace in the most irritating situations.'
It was an awesome and humbling experience to have my 9-year old son speak such a truthfully simply, yet profound statement to me this morning.
His comments stayed with me all day, and I can tell you, they not only helped me have a better morning, but a better day.
Points to Ponder
I have thought about all of these questions - yes, even in the midst of answering 20 questions and cleaning up stinky pull-ups.
In this midst of changing a nose-holding-worthy pull-up, I was doing a not-so-hot job of answering 20 questions from Tatum (because I am, of course, trying to be more aware of and not contribute to her 'middle-child syndrome', right?).
But I got flustered.
And my flustered tone can sound a lot like my angry tone to my kids, especially when I have asked them just to get dressed and go eat and we are going to be late again and why are we always late and can't I answer your questions later and WHY aren't you dressed yet....And, well.....you get the point.
After I dealt with the aftermath of the pull-up, I walked into the kitchen, where Kellen asked if I was angry. I then had to explain 'flustered' to him and after doing so, he proceeded to tell me about his devotional from earlier in the morning.....about praying to God for peace in stressful situations or when I got flustered.
'If you ask him, he can give you peace in the most irritating situations.'
It was an awesome and humbling experience to have my 9-year old son speak such a truthfully simply, yet profound statement to me this morning.
His comments stayed with me all day, and I can tell you, they not only helped me have a better morning, but a better day.
Points to Ponder
- What simple truths do you need reminding about today?
- Do you trust that He will give you peace in the most irritating situations? In the situations that don't seem to lend themselves to peace?
- What lesson might you need to learn from the situation?
I have thought about all of these questions - yes, even in the midst of answering 20 questions and cleaning up stinky pull-ups.
January Running Recap
12 - 1.29 miles - 15:57 (walk/jog) 1st since the boot came off!!
20 - 1.02 miles - 11:48
21 - .5 miles - 17:46 (walked to the park with the kids)
22 - 1.01 miles - 11:39
27 - 1.01 miles - 11:58
28 - 1.0 miles - 12:39
29 - 0.5 miles - 4.57
2013 Mileage
January = 6.33 miles (look out...here I come)
So I got the green light to walk/jog up to 1 mile every other day and the 12th was my first day out. It was glorious! I am now wearing a lace up ankle brace to stabilize my ankle even better, but it's taking some getting used to as I run.
20 - 1.02 miles - 11:48
21 - .5 miles - 17:46 (walked to the park with the kids)
22 - 1.01 miles - 11:39
27 - 1.01 miles - 11:58
28 - 1.0 miles - 12:39
29 - 0.5 miles - 4.57
2013 Mileage
January = 6.33 miles (look out...here I come)
So I got the green light to walk/jog up to 1 mile every other day and the 12th was my first day out. It was glorious! I am now wearing a lace up ankle brace to stabilize my ankle even better, but it's taking some getting used to as I run.
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