Goodbye

My Pap passed away on Friday, after suffering a lengthy illness. My parents called me at 3 PM Friday afternoon, I returned their phone call an hour later (not realizing that they had called - I was awaiting this phone call, and thought I was checking my phone more frequently than that for this particular call...). They made flight arrangements and left early Saturday morning, and the family viewing and calling hours were held yesterday, and the funeral is today.

I'm glad that he's no longer in pain, but wish so desperately that his final hours, even his final years, could have been like he wanted. He NEVER wanted to live his life like he did in these last few years...in and out of the hospital, repeatedly cut on (he had both legs amputated in different places), reduced to a portion of what, and who, he once was. But that's what happened. He didn't even get to die pain-free...his last hours were misery and suffering.

I don't understand that.

I don't understand why he couldn't have had a heart attack while out fishing and died in his boat, doing one of the things that brought him so much joy. Or even in his workshop with his tools. Why? Why wasn't that the end chosen for him? Why was he allowed to go through so much pain?
I just don't understand. And probably never will, until one day when it won't matter anymore.

Please pray for our family, as this situation is oh-so-much-more complicated than just my grandfather passing away. They are going to have to make some very important decisions in the next few days. Pray for the Lord's guidance and peace as they discuss and decide.

I'll post some other time about all of the things that I've inherited, learned and have come to appreciate from my Pap...