When will you learn?

So as I was disciplining Tatum the other day (an occasion no longer a rarity in our household), I wondered, 'Why doesn't she learn? Didn't we just go through this?'

I was answered, but not in a burning bush kind of way.  I distinctly felt God speaking to me, whispering, "She's just like you."

I responded with (does anyone else have full conversations with God inside their head?), 'She knows what's going to happen if she makes those poor choices.  We have set clear consequences for her actions. She knows the consequences but still makes poor choices.' [exasperated sigh] 'Why?'

'Yes, why?' the Lord answered me. 'Why does she continue to make poor choices? ..........Why do you? Haven't you already learned?  Aren't the consequences of your poor choices enough to make you see?'

My poor choices.

Raising my voice to the kids...or to Matt.

Running out of patience before the kids have even loaded up in the car and been dropped off at school/day care.

Not making my quiet time a priority.

Worrying.

The list is endless. My poor choices.

Yes, I know the consequences, but still make poor choices. Tatum knows the consequences, but still makes poor choices.

Most of the time it isn't deliberate. It isn't intentional. It just is.

It's habit. It's my sin-nature. It's me not allowing the Lord to walk with me or carry me throughout my day. All parts of my day.

I could feel God telling me how much my poor choices hurt Him. And that consequences are necessary for growth. For maturity. For learning.

As a parent, I don't like to discipline Tatum. It's not one of those 'fun' parts of the Mommy hat. But for her sake, I discipline. I correct. I teach. I explain. And I sometimes (many times???) cannot understand the why of her actions.


I'm becoming more and more convinced that one of the many reasons the Lord provides us with children is so that we'll understand Him better.  Understand better His love for us - His children.


We try to model that love to our children, in an oh-so-human, I'm-gonna-fail-miserably-at-this kinda' way.  With each interaction, we get a glimpse into how God feels about us.


My heavenly Father just wants me to seek Him and follow what He says. My discipline and instruction is designed for my spiritual growth and to enable me to develop into the person God intended.


If I desire that for Tatum, how much more - exponentially so - does God desire that for me? For Tatum. For us all.