Tatum gets braces!

Today Tatum got her braces!

She was ready to get them, considering all of the hecticness and trouble that her expander had caused.  I am so hopeful that the braces will be a smooth process for her!

She selected several colors, but then the doctor decided to move full steam ahead with the braces process and went ahead with a wire that would cause movement, rather than one to just 'get used to things', so she had to simplify her color scheme.  She was ok with that and was already planning her next color change.  This girl. She just cracks me up.

She has been the best trooper during this entire mouth ordeal and process.  She really hasn't complained, fussed, nothing....and I am quite sure that this has been painful, and a pain, for her.

The braces went on without any problems, and we'll see how things go!  Back in a month to check on her progress!

Do I sing that badly?

Mommy singing Greater by Mercy Me in the car

Jacey: Mommy?

Mommy: Yes?

Jacey: I just want to listen to the song.

Translation: Mommy, stop singing now.

Worth and Value - How is it measured?

Dictionary.com defines value as 'relative worth, merit, or importance'. It defines worth as 'usefulness or importance, as to the world, to a person, or for a purpose'.

How do you measure your worth and value? I will confess that it has been the 'to the world' aspect of the worth definition that I have unwittingly strived for and have lived for and sadly, have felt myself not achieving.

Typically worth and value, certainly in our capitalist society, is measured and defined by what someone would pay for an item.

So what does it say about my value, my worth --OUR value and worth --that the Creator and maker of the universe feels I am worth the Life of His son? That Jesus agreed that I was worth His very life?

I am that highly valued and important in the eyes of the Creator of the universe. Me. You.

I am worthy. Not for what I have done, but because I am His. I am important to My Lord. I am useful and have a purpose.

The value of an item can be determined by what someone is willing to pay for said item, so what does it say about my value - and yours - that the Creator of the universe paid for me with His life?

Jokester

Tatum is reading (or had read?) a sports-themed joke book.

Periodically, she'll tell us jokes that she recalls from this book.

Tatum:  What do you call a ghost cheerleader?

The team spirit!!

Jacey wins this round

This morning Jacey commented that she thought she needed her umbrella and raincoat.  I assured her that it was going to be hot and that she would be fine.

It rained.

When I picked her up from daycare, our conversation in the car was interesting.

Jacey: I was RIGHT!!!

Me: Really?  (having completely forgotten about our morning conversation in the first place)

Jacey: Yes!!  I said we would need my rain jacket and burella today!!

TAMU Good Bull police

Today was College Colors Day.

In our house, that means Aggie Maroon, of course.

When I picked up Jacey from daycare, she was fired up about clothing.  It was quite entertaining.

Jacey: Some moms did not let their kids were Aggie shirts today.

Me: Really?

Jacey:  Yes.  So-and-so's mom did not let her wear an Aggie shirt.

Me: Hmmmm...

Jacey:  I am SO MAD at so-and-so's mommy for not letting her wear an Aggie shirt today!

The girl takes her Aggie clothes seriously, y'all.

Summer bucket list

Tatums summer bucket list included shopping for school supplies and a special 'date' with me to Chick-fil-A. I am more than happy to oblige.

We survived Wal-Mart on tax free weekend, and the school supply list for a 2nd and 6th grader complete.

Tatum pointed out that next year I will be school shopping for three kids.  Three.  I think I need an entire year to prepare myself for that reality.

Sweet dreams

Jacey:  Good morning, Mommy!!  Did you have good dreams?

Me: Hmmm??

Jacey:  Did you dream about ME??  (smiling sweetly)

Worth....in works??

John 6:29 Jesus told them, "This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent, "

I am currently going through a Bible study and this was a verse within a passage of scripture during one of those days and it jumped out of my Bible and spoke to me.  It was if the Lord was saying to me, "Stop. Slow down. What you are doing is good, but learn to rest in me."

Now don't get me wrong...I understand that once we're sufficiently plugged in to our true energy source, the only thing that can sufficiently sustain us, our Bread of Life (John 6:25) that we will be conformed more and more into the likeness of Jesus through refinement and, potentially discipline (or pruning, as the verses in John 15 describe).

However, the word of the Lord makes it clear that our works don't define our worth in Christ.

As a self-proclaimed "do-er", this is a hard truth for me, so let me state that again, since it bears repeating.

Our works don't define our worth in Christ.

Our acceptance of Jesus Christ's spilled blood on the cross did that.  We are priceless treasures to our Lord.

Luke 12:7 (NIV) Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

This is not at all to say that works - good works - are not important in our lives.  Matthew 25 teaches us that we need to be attuned to the needs of the 'least of these' around us and respond to those as Jesus would have responded. 

I truly believe that we should be plugged in and serving in some area of ministry and modeling what that service looks like for our children.  They should see that servant heart displayed and lived out in front of them.  I have been fortunate to have several talks with my older two about the "why" of my involvement in Mama Club over the past few weeks and they both have a deeper understanding of why their mommy spends one night a week away from home, interacting with and (hopefully) helping other mommies.

However, my sense of worth should not come from my involvement in various activities, my 'roles' in organizations, my titles, my (insert whatever here). My sense of worth should come from being a child of the risen Lord. Period. End of discussion. No amount of my hurried and potentially frazzled activities should change that.  Just like John 6 states, I believe in the one that the Lord sent - and need to continually evaluate my activities to be sure that the Lord wants me there (1 Cor 10:23), those activities align with that message and that I am helping to point people towards the Lord.

Am I the only one who struggles in this area?  Commit to working on worth in Christ alone - not in our activities - with me, even if it means being a little less of a 'do-er' or letting go of guilt that may accompany those works sometimes?

Tatum...on dating

Tatum: Mommy, when was the last time you and daddy dated?
Me: You mean, when was the last time daddy and I went on a date?
Tatum: Yeah, a dance date.
Me: Oh? You mean when was the last time daddy and I went dancing? Do you think daddy needs to take me dancing on a date?
Tatum (with great enthusiasm): Heck yeah!

(Conversation took place on the way to church before her volleyball game.  This girl absolutely cracks me up, and I love that she wants to see her daddy and I do things together!)

Gaps

The difference between expectation and reality can create a gap.
The difference between expectation and ability can create a gap.

Gaps can create disappointment.

Let God fill your gaps.....His way and His will have the power to strengthen our abilities, alter our realities, and exceed our expectations.

God doesn't disappoint.

Life with a 3-year old

Daddy: We need to get a new calculator

Me (pondering what our now 5th grader is doing in math that might necessitate the need for a more intensive calculator....): What kind of calculator?

Daddy: One that hasn't been in the toilet.

Oh such is life with a rambunctious 3-year old!

Perry

Just had an interesting conversation with my 3-year old about Perry the platypus.

Traps.....hats.....She is a crack up!

I think it may have been a rouse to delay bedtime, but tonight, I'll take it. 

Well done

His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!

Matthew 25:21

It's what we strive for, right?  The knowledge that our work on earth has meaning - that we're not just doing good....we're trying to do the BEST...making a difference for the kingdom of God in the lives of others. Being faithful with the talents God has bestowed upon us and doing with those talents what He wants us to do.

At 11:02 AM today, I believe that Dr. Royal Benson heard the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" from the ultimate master, and although my heart is so heavy for those he has left behind in his whirlwind illness, his life truly made a difference.

I am completely and 100% confident that my God could have healed him here on this earth. But He didn't.

I don't know why.

It would have been miraculous.
It would have been awesome.
It would have been glorious.

But apparently, it wasn't the BEST.

I don't know how this fits into God's plan. My perspective is that of a pinhead compared to His. I have tunnel vision and I can barely see beyond the pain of those whose lives are hurting because of this loss...including mine.

I mean...I was just his patient. And I called him my friend. He delivered Matt and I's three precious children....Well, if you want to get technical, Matt was the first person to touch and deliver all three kids.  He had asked Dr. Benson if we would get a discounted rate if he delivered the kids. After a laugh, Dr. Benson asked how many kids Matt had delivered...after Matt recounted the 'where's' but not the 'how many's' of the delivery's, Dr. Benson's response was, "Good answer,", followed by, "It's up to her" and left the decision up to me.  (Sidenote: I did say yes with the requirement that he had to coach until delivery time)

So we had three "Royal deliveries", with him and his staff.  I love that. Such a celebration of life.

I don't want to stop and think about what it would have been like to have a doctor who may not have taken me as seriously when I said something just 'didn't feel quite right'....I mean...three deliveries with prolapsed cords, despite all precautionary measures?  One with an additional perfect knot in the cord?  Diagnosed oligohydramnios (that's low amniotic fluid for those of you not aware)? The roller coaster of twins, losing one, and the emotional turmoil that the remainder of the pregnancy was with each ultrasound after...still wondering, hoping...maybe, just maybe...Twin B was just hiding? Celebrating life and mourning all at the same time...And he never once made me feel silly for any question I asked. In fact, he seemed to love it when I would bring in my notebook with questions already lined out and write his responses down - 'model patient', he would call me. "I did pregnancy well", he would always say, although I never agreed with him. :)

And then dealing with postpartum depression...what doctor reshuffles their vacation because a babbling postpartum patient calls the office and can barely speak the words, "There is something really wrong with me....I can't keep doing this..." After being on hold for just a few minutes, I was told to come into the office immediately - that he was making a special trip to the office to see me. What doctor does that?

Dr. Benson. He does.
And now he's gone.

He welcomed you with, "And how are you today, friend?" or asked about Matt and the kids, or my parents, etc. I don't think I ever saw him without a smile on his face in over 12 years.

And from my pinhole perspective, he lived life well, and served the Lord with the talents that God gave him. And he certainly made a difference in the lives of others. He was a staunch pro-life supporter, which is one of the things I respected about him and that resonated with me - especially when he took some heavy public fire for his stand.

Well done, Dr. Benson. Well done. You will be missed. Your wife and daughter will be in my prayers as they learn to navigate life without you.

A glimpse.....

So we are still having behavioral issues at school with Tatum. After a discussion with her about her behavior and how to improve upon it, she came up with her own sticker reward system on her calendar for good days both at school and Kids Klub, and a check mark on the days when she behaved well in one or the other.

There aren't many stickers on the calendar.

Needless to say, her daddy and I are frustrated with her choices and behavior.  We've talked behavior and choices until we're blue in the face. We have read scripture to her, we have read scripture with her, we have disciplined, we have tried many different things in an attempt to get her to comply with the rules.

The difficult thing for me is to differentiate her behavior from her many times.

She isn't bad - she makes bad choices. Her choices don't define who she is and don't make up the essence of her being.

I still love and adore my daughter, but I don't love and adore the choices that she makes and when she is in the midst of those behaviors, I don't want to be around her.

Hmmm....anyone see any parallels there with our Heavenly Father?  It's amazing how much more insight we're able to glean into Him as a heavenly father after being a parent.

At any rate, I occasionally get a glimpse into Tatum's essence...who she really is...and her true sweet self really shines through.  I was able to get one such glimpse this week, and it was sorely needed.

Let me explain......
We were discussing her upcoming birthday and planning some party options when she decided she wanted to have a giving party. She told me that she had enough toys already and she wanted to take all of the toys that her friends brought to her party for her and give them to someone who needed them more than she did.

I told her to go tell her daddy, who was about as dumbfounded as I was. (He even posted about it on Facebook, which happens maybe once or twice a year!)

I frequently purge the toys with the kids, and I use that type of language when we do that process to help them understand why we get rid of toys they don't play with or they have outgrown.  I will say that I wasn't sure whether the idea of a giving party would be a fleeting one or if it would actually stick.

The next morning, she made a point to ask her daddy if she was going to be able to have a giving birthday party.

It apparently stuck.

Our plan is to have her friends donate toys in the 4-6 year old range for Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach, specifically their Mama Club program. If you are reading this and feel led to donate something to this ministry, please feel free to do so. A large and constant need for this ministry is diapers and wipes for the girls who participate in Mama Club.

Chaos

Is it normal?

Chaos, I mean.

Is it?

I was messaging with a friend last week (thank goodness for texting technology, or I wouldn't have a clue how my friends were) and remarked that chaos seemed like our normal.

And it does, doesn't it?

Running from school drop off to work to meetings, from one deadline to another, frantically answering emails during between meetings in an attempt to stay on top of a technology that was supposed to assist us.  But now it feels more like a hampster wheel sometimes...hurrying us to action but not necessarily showing us progress.

But maybe that's just my relationship with email....and scheduling...and chaos.

As I look at our activities, I realize many times that the problem still lies with me...and my mismatch of realistic expectations to time.

Translation --I think I can, and worse yet, should, do it all.

Full time wife
Full time mommy
Full time employee
Ministry with Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach
Involvement in our Sunday School class & church
Upcoming leadership role in national advising organization (unless there is a landslide write-in campaign, which God absolutely can orchestrate)
Ambassador with iBloom

Oh, and did I mention my kids are involved in stuff, too? It's no wonder my life sometimes can feel like the ball inside a pinball machine.

Now, many of these obligations I feel are absolutely supposed to be in my life. They are there because they help to define me. Mold me. Shape me. They are how God is choosing to use and grow me right now.

My challenge doesn't seem to always be the big rocks, but the small stones or pebbles. I've allowed them into my live as invaders of time. Unchecked guests.

And then to top it off, those guests have a tendency to overstay their welcome. They never seem to leave when you thought they were going to so you could refocus your and energy.

Yes, that's when my chaos seems to occur the most.

So it seems the solution is simple....1) ask God about the pebbles and stones and yes-of course the big rocks- and whether they are part of His plan.

Just because I may be able to handle a single pebble doesn't mean I can handle an onslaught of them, especially if my focus should be on the rocks He has already provided me with and is equipping me to face.

2) Ask God to reveal His design and expectations to you. We want what we do to bring Him glory and if we are too busy striving for perfection that we miss the person-we have missed the mark and missed the message. It's the relationship that points toward Him that matters....not the perfect ___________.

So how about it? Does your life have a chaotic corner needing cleaning? If so, will you work on answering these questions (or any others the Lord may put on your heart) and and restore a little peace this week?

Awesome Mommy Moment

Many morning Mommy moments don't make my heart flutter and melt. But this morning.....this morning was different.

In this midst of changing a nose-holding-worthy pull-up, I was doing a not-so-hot job of answering 20 questions from Tatum (because I am, of course, trying to be more aware of and not contribute to her 'middle-child syndrome', right?).

But I got flustered.

And my flustered tone can sound a lot like my angry tone to my kids, especially when I have asked them just to get dressed and go eat and we are going to be late again and why are we always late and can't I answer your questions later and WHY aren't you dressed yet....And, well.....you get the point.

After I dealt with the aftermath of the pull-up, I walked into the kitchen, where Kellen asked if I was angry. I then had to explain 'flustered' to him and after doing so, he proceeded to tell me about his devotional from earlier in the morning.....about praying to God for peace in stressful situations or when I got flustered.

'If you ask him, he can give you peace in the most irritating situations.'

It was an awesome and humbling experience to have my 9-year old son speak such a truthfully simply, yet profound statement to me this morning.

His comments stayed with me all day, and I can tell you, they not only helped me have a better morning, but a better day.


Points to Ponder

• What simple truths do you need reminding about today?
• Do you trust that He will give you peace in the most irritating situations?  In the situations that don't seem to lend themselves to peace?
• What lesson might you need to learn from the situation?

I have thought about all of these questions - yes, even in the midst of answering 20 questions and cleaning up stinky pull-ups. 

January Running Recap

12 - 1.29 miles - 15:57 (walk/jog) 1st since the boot came off!!
20 - 1.02 miles - 11:48
21 - .5 miles - 17:46 (walked to the park with the kids)
22 - 1.01 miles - 11:39
27 - 1.01 miles - 11:58
28 - 1.0 miles - 12:39
29 - 0.5 miles - 4.57


2013 Mileage
January = 6.33 miles (look out...here I come)


So I got the green light to walk/jog up to 1 mile every other day and the 12th was my first day out. It was glorious! I am now wearing a lace up ankle brace to stabilize my ankle even better, but it's taking some getting used to as I run.

The sickies....

So the sickies invaded our house.  I think we might have finally stopped the invasion, but not before taking some heavy fire.

Jacey was the first to fall.  In the middle of a restaraunt.  Right before we were to celebrate a suprise birthday party.

I don't think that was the suprise the friend had intended.

Needless to say, we left.  (Tatum and I eventually went back and celebrated, but not before another wave of attacks occurred on the way home.  It was a brutal attack).

She had an evening and a night's worth of the sickies, laid around for the remainder of the next day, then was fine.  Luckily, her attack fell over a long weekend, so we had the Monday off to recover.  Tuesday was the first day back for everyone, and everyone went to school, feeling fine.

Wednesday morning didn't go the same.

I took some heavy fire.  It was a slightly different army than the one that had attached Jacey, but a vicious one, nonetheless.  Daddy suggested I stay home.  I didn't argue.  Daddy headed off to work.

Then the army that had attacked Jacey doubled back in, trying for the kill.  It was almost successful.

Thursday's attack was directed towards Tatum, and luckily it was just the same army that had attacked Jacey the weekend before (since the other army was still attacking me).

Friday we licked our wounds and assessed our damages, trying to recover and build back up our gear.  Friday night, the attack landed on Kellen.  It actually stayed on Kellen longer than the girls (but not quite as long as on me), and he fought for a little longer than I anticipated he would.  The weekend progressed and so did the battle lines.

By Sunday afternoon, we we gotten a dose of fresh air, some playground adventure, and our first real meal since the attack had begun. 

Now it's Monday, and everyone is back at school and work, and I think the sickies are gone.  The battle grounds have been cleaned, and there is no longer signs that a battle even took place at our house last week (I mean, except for the empty Lysol containers, half-empty bottles of Purel). 

I don't want to fight that battle again any time soon, although if I could bottle the end product of the few days of it, I might have a best-selling diet aid on my hands.

December Running Recap

No running in December

2012 Running Recap
January total = 31.24 (31 days) [MET GOAL]
February total = 9.26 (29 days)
March total = 12.4 (31 days)
April total = 0 (30 days)
May total = 11.2 miles (31 days)
June total= 20.07 miles (30 days)
July total = 11.79 miles (31 days)
August total = 5.22 miles (31 days)
September total = 48.35 miles (30 days) [MET GOAL]
October total =  10.14 miles (31 days)
November total =  27.16 miles (30 days)
December total = 0 (31 days)


2012 Mileage =184.16
2012 Deficit = 149.84

I didn't run my half marathon.  And I ended 2012 wearing a boot on my foot.  Not exactly the way I envisioned finishing my running year.  I was well short of my 365-mile goal for 2012.  But I'm getting older, and wiser.  And I figured that taking care of myself now might mean another 10 races later.

Smart choice, right?  Tell me I'm right, 'cause I'm not really happy about this.

Maybe I'm learning patience? Perseverance? Determination? I'm sure the Lord is trying to teach me something....but perhaps it is that I simply need to slow down sometimes.....