Worth....in works??

John 6:29 Jesus told them, "This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent, "

I am currently going through a Bible study and this was a verse within a passage of scripture during one of those days and it jumped out of my Bible and spoke to me.  It was if the Lord was saying to me, "Stop. Slow down. What you are doing is good, but learn to rest in me."

Now don't get me wrong...I understand that once we're sufficiently plugged in to our true energy source, the only thing that can sufficiently sustain us, our Bread of Life (John 6:25) that we will be conformed more and more into the likeness of Jesus through refinement and, potentially discipline (or pruning, as the verses in John 15 describe).

However, the word of the Lord makes it clear that our works don't define our worth in Christ.

As a self-proclaimed "do-er", this is a hard truth for me, so let me state that again, since it bears repeating.

Our works don't define our worth in Christ.

Our acceptance of Jesus Christ's spilled blood on the cross did that.  We are priceless treasures to our Lord.

Luke 12:7 (NIV) Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

This is not at all to say that works - good works - are not important in our lives.  Matthew 25 teaches us that we need to be attuned to the needs of the 'least of these' around us and respond to those as Jesus would have responded. 

I truly believe that we should be plugged in and serving in some area of ministry and modeling what that service looks like for our children.  They should see that servant heart displayed and lived out in front of them.  I have been fortunate to have several talks with my older two about the "why" of my involvement in Mama Club over the past few weeks and they both have a deeper understanding of why their mommy spends one night a week away from home, interacting with and (hopefully) helping other mommies.

However, my sense of worth should not come from my involvement in various activities, my 'roles' in organizations, my titles, my (insert whatever here). My sense of worth should come from being a child of the risen Lord. Period. End of discussion. No amount of my hurried and potentially frazzled activities should change that.  Just like John 6 states, I believe in the one that the Lord sent - and need to continually evaluate my activities to be sure that the Lord wants me there (1 Cor 10:23), those activities align with that message and that I am helping to point people towards the Lord.

Am I the only one who struggles in this area?  Commit to working on worth in Christ alone - not in our activities - with me, even if it means being a little less of a 'do-er' or letting go of guilt that may accompany those works sometimes?

Tatum...on dating

Tatum: Mommy, when was the last time you and daddy dated?
Me: You mean, when was the last time daddy and I went on a date?
Tatum: Yeah, a dance date.
Me: Oh? You mean when was the last time daddy and I went dancing? Do you think daddy needs to take me dancing on a date?
Tatum (with great enthusiasm): Heck yeah!

(Conversation took place on the way to church before her volleyball game.  This girl absolutely cracks me up, and I love that she wants to see her daddy and I do things together!)

Gaps

The difference between expectation and reality can create a gap.
The difference between expectation and ability can create a gap.

Gaps can create disappointment.

Let God fill your gaps.....His way and His will have the power to strengthen our abilities, alter our realities, and exceed our expectations.

God doesn't disappoint.

Life with a 3-year old

Daddy: We need to get a new calculator

Me (pondering what our now 5th grader is doing in math that might necessitate the need for a more intensive calculator....): What kind of calculator?

Daddy: One that hasn't been in the toilet.

Oh such is life with a rambunctious 3-year old!

Perry

Just had an interesting conversation with my 3-year old about Perry the platypus.

Traps.....hats.....She is a crack up!

I think it may have been a rouse to delay bedtime, but tonight, I'll take it. 

Well done

His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!

Matthew 25:21

It's what we strive for, right?  The knowledge that our work on earth has meaning - that we're not just doing good....we're trying to do the BEST...making a difference for the kingdom of God in the lives of others. Being faithful with the talents God has bestowed upon us and doing with those talents what He wants us to do.

At 11:02 AM today, I believe that Dr. Royal Benson heard the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" from the ultimate master, and although my heart is so heavy for those he has left behind in his whirlwind illness, his life truly made a difference.

I am completely and 100% confident that my God could have healed him here on this earth. But He didn't.

I don't know why.

It would have been miraculous.
It would have been awesome.
It would have been glorious.

But apparently, it wasn't the BEST.

I don't know how this fits into God's plan. My perspective is that of a pinhead compared to His. I have tunnel vision and I can barely see beyond the pain of those whose lives are hurting because of this loss...including mine.

I mean...I was just his patient. And I called him my friend. He delivered Matt and I's three precious children....Well, if you want to get technical, Matt was the first person to touch and deliver all three kids.  He had asked Dr. Benson if we would get a discounted rate if he delivered the kids. After a laugh, Dr. Benson asked how many kids Matt had delivered...after Matt recounted the 'where's' but not the 'how many's' of the delivery's, Dr. Benson's response was, "Good answer,", followed by, "It's up to her" and left the decision up to me.  (Sidenote: I did say yes with the requirement that he had to coach until delivery time)

So we had three "Royal deliveries", with him and his staff.  I love that. Such a celebration of life.

I don't want to stop and think about what it would have been like to have a doctor who may not have taken me as seriously when I said something just 'didn't feel quite right'....I mean...three deliveries with prolapsed cords, despite all precautionary measures?  One with an additional perfect knot in the cord?  Diagnosed oligohydramnios (that's low amniotic fluid for those of you not aware)? The roller coaster of twins, losing one, and the emotional turmoil that the remainder of the pregnancy was with each ultrasound after...still wondering, hoping...maybe, just maybe...Twin B was just hiding? Celebrating life and mourning all at the same time...And he never once made me feel silly for any question I asked. In fact, he seemed to love it when I would bring in my notebook with questions already lined out and write his responses down - 'model patient', he would call me. "I did pregnancy well", he would always say, although I never agreed with him. :)

And then dealing with postpartum depression...what doctor reshuffles their vacation because a babbling postpartum patient calls the office and can barely speak the words, "There is something really wrong with me....I can't keep doing this..." After being on hold for just a few minutes, I was told to come into the office immediately - that he was making a special trip to the office to see me. What doctor does that?

Dr. Benson. He does.
And now he's gone.

He welcomed you with, "And how are you today, friend?" or asked about Matt and the kids, or my parents, etc. I don't think I ever saw him without a smile on his face in over 12 years.

And from my pinhole perspective, he lived life well, and served the Lord with the talents that God gave him. And he certainly made a difference in the lives of others. He was a staunch pro-life supporter, which is one of the things I respected about him and that resonated with me - especially when he took some heavy public fire for his stand.

Well done, Dr. Benson. Well done. You will be missed. Your wife and daughter will be in my prayers as they learn to navigate life without you.

A glimpse.....

So we are still having behavioral issues at school with Tatum. After a discussion with her about her behavior and how to improve upon it, she came up with her own sticker reward system on her calendar for good days both at school and Kids Klub, and a check mark on the days when she behaved well in one or the other.

There aren't many stickers on the calendar.

Needless to say, her daddy and I are frustrated with her choices and behavior.  We've talked behavior and choices until we're blue in the face. We have read scripture to her, we have read scripture with her, we have disciplined, we have tried many different things in an attempt to get her to comply with the rules.

The difficult thing for me is to differentiate her behavior from her many times.

She isn't bad - she makes bad choices. Her choices don't define who she is and don't make up the essence of her being.

I still love and adore my daughter, but I don't love and adore the choices that she makes and when she is in the midst of those behaviors, I don't want to be around her.

Hmmm....anyone see any parallels there with our Heavenly Father?  It's amazing how much more insight we're able to glean into Him as a heavenly father after being a parent.

At any rate, I occasionally get a glimpse into Tatum's essence...who she really is...and her true sweet self really shines through.  I was able to get one such glimpse this week, and it was sorely needed.

Let me explain......
We were discussing her upcoming birthday and planning some party options when she decided she wanted to have a giving party. She told me that she had enough toys already and she wanted to take all of the toys that her friends brought to her party for her and give them to someone who needed them more than she did.

I told her to go tell her daddy, who was about as dumbfounded as I was. (He even posted about it on Facebook, which happens maybe once or twice a year!)

I frequently purge the toys with the kids, and I use that type of language when we do that process to help them understand why we get rid of toys they don't play with or they have outgrown.  I will say that I wasn't sure whether the idea of a giving party would be a fleeting one or if it would actually stick.

The next morning, she made a point to ask her daddy if she was going to be able to have a giving birthday party.

It apparently stuck.

Our plan is to have her friends donate toys in the 4-6 year old range for Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach, specifically their Mama Club program. If you are reading this and feel led to donate something to this ministry, please feel free to do so. A large and constant need for this ministry is diapers and wipes for the girls who participate in Mama Club.

Chaos

Is it normal?

Chaos, I mean.

Is it?

I was messaging with a friend last week (thank goodness for texting technology, or I wouldn't have a clue how my friends were) and remarked that chaos seemed like our normal.

And it does, doesn't it?

Running from school drop off to work to meetings, from one deadline to another, frantically answering emails during between meetings in an attempt to stay on top of a technology that was supposed to assist us.  But now it feels more like a hampster wheel sometimes...hurrying us to action but not necessarily showing us progress.

But maybe that's just my relationship with email....and scheduling...and chaos.

As I look at our activities, I realize many times that the problem still lies with me...and my mismatch of realistic expectations to time.

Translation --I think I can, and worse yet, should, do it all.

Full time wife
Full time mommy
Full time employee
Ministry with Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach
Involvement in our Sunday School class & church
Upcoming leadership role in national advising organization (unless there is a landslide write-in campaign, which God absolutely can orchestrate)
Ambassador with iBloom

Oh, and did I mention my kids are involved in stuff, too? It's no wonder my life sometimes can feel like the ball inside a pinball machine.

Now, many of these obligations I feel are absolutely supposed to be in my life. They are there because they help to define me. Mold me. Shape me. They are how God is choosing to use and grow me right now.

My challenge doesn't seem to always be the big rocks, but the small stones or pebbles. I've allowed them into my live as invaders of time. Unchecked guests.

And then to top it off, those guests have a tendency to overstay their welcome. They never seem to leave when you thought they were going to so you could refocus your and energy.

Yes, that's when my chaos seems to occur the most.

So it seems the solution is simple....1) ask God about the pebbles and stones and yes-of course the big rocks- and whether they are part of His plan.

Just because I may be able to handle a single pebble doesn't mean I can handle an onslaught of them, especially if my focus should be on the rocks He has already provided me with and is equipping me to face.

2) Ask God to reveal His design and expectations to you. We want what we do to bring Him glory and if we are too busy striving for perfection that we miss the person-we have missed the mark and missed the message. It's the relationship that points toward Him that matters....not the perfect ___________.

So how about it? Does your life have a chaotic corner needing cleaning? If so, will you work on answering these questions (or any others the Lord may put on your heart) and and restore a little peace this week?

Awesome Mommy Moment

Many morning Mommy moments don't make my heart flutter and melt. But this morning.....this morning was different.

In this midst of changing a nose-holding-worthy pull-up, I was doing a not-so-hot job of answering 20 questions from Tatum (because I am, of course, trying to be more aware of and not contribute to her 'middle-child syndrome', right?).

But I got flustered.

And my flustered tone can sound a lot like my angry tone to my kids, especially when I have asked them just to get dressed and go eat and we are going to be late again and why are we always late and can't I answer your questions later and WHY aren't you dressed yet....And, well.....you get the point.

After I dealt with the aftermath of the pull-up, I walked into the kitchen, where Kellen asked if I was angry. I then had to explain 'flustered' to him and after doing so, he proceeded to tell me about his devotional from earlier in the morning.....about praying to God for peace in stressful situations or when I got flustered.

'If you ask him, he can give you peace in the most irritating situations.'

It was an awesome and humbling experience to have my 9-year old son speak such a truthfully simply, yet profound statement to me this morning.

His comments stayed with me all day, and I can tell you, they not only helped me have a better morning, but a better day.


Points to Ponder

• What simple truths do you need reminding about today?
• Do you trust that He will give you peace in the most irritating situations?  In the situations that don't seem to lend themselves to peace?
• What lesson might you need to learn from the situation?

I have thought about all of these questions - yes, even in the midst of answering 20 questions and cleaning up stinky pull-ups. 

January Running Recap

12 - 1.29 miles - 15:57 (walk/jog) 1st since the boot came off!!
20 - 1.02 miles - 11:48
21 - .5 miles - 17:46 (walked to the park with the kids)
22 - 1.01 miles - 11:39
27 - 1.01 miles - 11:58
28 - 1.0 miles - 12:39
29 - 0.5 miles - 4.57


2013 Mileage
January = 6.33 miles (look out...here I come)


So I got the green light to walk/jog up to 1 mile every other day and the 12th was my first day out. It was glorious! I am now wearing a lace up ankle brace to stabilize my ankle even better, but it's taking some getting used to as I run.

The sickies....

So the sickies invaded our house.  I think we might have finally stopped the invasion, but not before taking some heavy fire.

Jacey was the first to fall.  In the middle of a restaraunt.  Right before we were to celebrate a suprise birthday party.

I don't think that was the suprise the friend had intended.

Needless to say, we left.  (Tatum and I eventually went back and celebrated, but not before another wave of attacks occurred on the way home.  It was a brutal attack).

She had an evening and a night's worth of the sickies, laid around for the remainder of the next day, then was fine.  Luckily, her attack fell over a long weekend, so we had the Monday off to recover.  Tuesday was the first day back for everyone, and everyone went to school, feeling fine.

Wednesday morning didn't go the same.

I took some heavy fire.  It was a slightly different army than the one that had attached Jacey, but a vicious one, nonetheless.  Daddy suggested I stay home.  I didn't argue.  Daddy headed off to work.

Then the army that had attacked Jacey doubled back in, trying for the kill.  It was almost successful.

Thursday's attack was directed towards Tatum, and luckily it was just the same army that had attacked Jacey the weekend before (since the other army was still attacking me).

Friday we licked our wounds and assessed our damages, trying to recover and build back up our gear.  Friday night, the attack landed on Kellen.  It actually stayed on Kellen longer than the girls (but not quite as long as on me), and he fought for a little longer than I anticipated he would.  The weekend progressed and so did the battle lines.

By Sunday afternoon, we we gotten a dose of fresh air, some playground adventure, and our first real meal since the attack had begun. 

Now it's Monday, and everyone is back at school and work, and I think the sickies are gone.  The battle grounds have been cleaned, and there is no longer signs that a battle even took place at our house last week (I mean, except for the empty Lysol containers, half-empty bottles of Purel). 

I don't want to fight that battle again any time soon, although if I could bottle the end product of the few days of it, I might have a best-selling diet aid on my hands.

December Running Recap

No running in December

2012 Running Recap
January total = 31.24 (31 days) [MET GOAL]
February total = 9.26 (29 days)
March total = 12.4 (31 days)
April total = 0 (30 days)
May total = 11.2 miles (31 days)
June total= 20.07 miles (30 days)
July total = 11.79 miles (31 days)
August total = 5.22 miles (31 days)
September total = 48.35 miles (30 days) [MET GOAL]
October total =  10.14 miles (31 days)
November total =  27.16 miles (30 days)
December total = 0 (31 days)


2012 Mileage =184.16
2012 Deficit = 149.84

I didn't run my half marathon.  And I ended 2012 wearing a boot on my foot.  Not exactly the way I envisioned finishing my running year.  I was well short of my 365-mile goal for 2012.  But I'm getting older, and wiser.  And I figured that taking care of myself now might mean another 10 races later.

Smart choice, right?  Tell me I'm right, 'cause I'm not really happy about this.

Maybe I'm learning patience? Perseverance? Determination? I'm sure the Lord is trying to teach me something....but perhaps it is that I simply need to slow down sometimes.....

November Running recap

4 - 4.16 - 49:24
5 - 3.01 - 33:21
6 - 2.01 - 22:55
11 - 6.04 - 1:09:43
12 - 4.0 - 43:54
13 - 4.55 - 48:33
14 - 2.39 - 26:20
26 - 1.0 - 10:43

2012 Running Recap
January total = 31.24 (31 days) [MET GOAL]
February total = 9.26 (29 days)
March total = 12.4 (31 days)
April total = 0 (30 days)
May total = 11.2 miles (31 days)
June total= 20.07 miles (30 days)
July total = 11.79 miles (31 days)
August total = 5.22 miles (31 days)
September total = 48.35 miles (30 days) [MET GOAL]
October total =  10.14 miles (31 days)
November total =  27.16 miles (30 days)

Beginning November:
2012 Mileage =184.16
2012 Deficit = 149.84


Days remaining

December = 31

Not too bad this month, considering that I'm having some weird foot/ankle injury that has gotten progressively worse.  I gave myself some time off after the 14th and tried a mile on the 26th and decided to see the doctor if that mile hurt to run. It did. To the doctor I went.  And he put me in a boot.  And running the half marathon in December will be my call - a 'game-day decision', if you will.  He wants me to rest it and ice it every day - and multiple times a day at that. *sigh*

Odd thing to note. I have run so much less this year than last year, but feel much more like a runner this year than ever before.

Advent Season - Keeping the "Christ" in Christmas

If you want a free resource to help you keep the Christ in Christmas...one that's done a lot of the work for you with activities, Bible verses, songs, etc as you prepare your heart, your family and children for Christmas, you may want to check out the Good Morning Girls 4 week study and their ebook on the subject, Advent Study: Keeping Our Hearts Focused on Jesus, which is free when you subscribe to GMG.

I have done a variety of self-created Christmas count downs in the past, but haven't really done Advent, per se, in the past.  I think that this year, I might give it a try - candles and all.  So it's appealing that they have it all compiled for me.

We'll see how it goes. 

I'll also continue my Christmas count down and incorporate the Advent activities into the countdown (because let's face it, there is no way that both will happen independent of each other).

Are we ready to discuss Christmas already?

School Fall Festival

Lest you think the Halloween fun was finished when the holiday itself was over, Jacey's school hosted its own Fall Festival on the Friday following Halloween.

Yet another opportunity for her to dress up.

Again.

As something completely different.

This time she was a Care Bear.  Only in her world, when she put on the 'helmet', her version of a Care Bear growled at people.

'Cause I guess that's what bears do, and since we don't watch the Care Bears, she really doesn't know any better.

She was priceless.  And adorable!

October Running Recap

2 - 1.01 (10:16)
3 - 2.03 (22:13)
5 - 4 miles (39:19)
6 - 3.1 miles (29:45) (5k in less than 30 minutes!!  Whoop!!)


2012 Running Recap
January total = 31.24 (31 days) [MET GOAL]
February total = 9.26 (29 days)
March total = 12.4 (31 days)
April total = 0 (30 days)
May total = 11.2 miles (31 days)
June total= 20.07 miles (30 days)
July total = 11.79 miles (31 days)
August total = 5.22 miles (31 days)
September total = 48.35 miles (30 days) [MET GOAL]
October total =  10.14 miles (31 days)

Beginning September:
2012 Mileage =159.67
2012 Deficit = 145.33


Days remaining
November = 30
December = 31

Ug. Respiratory stuff isn't fun. And I dealt with that (again) this month. That and scheduling issues. *sigh* I guess the scheduling issues is why some people find it beneficial to have a treadmill inside their home?

Halloween

Each year our sorority row hosts Halloween, and our kids absolutely LOVE attending their festivities.  We have invited many of our friends to attend with us over the years, and it has turned into one of our family traditions.

The kids love it.  They talk about the big houses.  They talk about the lots of people.  They talk about the games.  And they talk about the candy.  The good candy. (Come on, you know what I'm talking about. It's the type of candy you want to eat yourself but you don't necessarily want to buy to hand out to others. There, I said it.)

And we don't have to worry about checking the candy.  And we know that we can take our candy tax and they'll still have plenty for weeks to come.

I'm not kidding.

Weeks.

Really.  Weeks.

Since it's getting dark earlier now, we made sure to get a group picture as we started the evening off to ensure that we actually got one.

And then we realized that the ninja didn't have his mask on, so we tried again.  After several attempts, we got this.

Then we did a couple with just my sweet ones.

And when they had had just about enough of Mommy and her camera (let's be honest here - they were past that point, really), we went on to the houses and the fun!!

Such a great idea, a fun event, and a fabulous night.  I love that our college students put this event on for the community!!

After this event we went and visited Bubba (a retired professor that Mommy worked with for years) and played at his house for a while before finally calling it a night.  I don't think it took the kids 10 minutes once their heads hit the pillows to fall asleep!

MSC Hospitality hosts Halloween

The MSC is open again.  That means that the MSC Hospitality Halloween event is back in the MSC instead of packed into the location they have had to have it the past few years.

And the kids had a great time at this one (as always)!

The girls decided to change up their outfits.

And notice the pan to accompany Tatum's outfit....she came up with that all.on.her.own.  Yes, she is precious, you can say it (and if you don't know to what I'm referring, go rent Tangled).

We headed to the MSC and played games.  All of their games.

Jacey was drawn to the duck game, although she didn't quite understand the concept (try to pick the duck that corresponds with the number you're given - numbers are on the bottom of the ducks).  She just liked to pick up the ducks out of the baby pool and play in the water.  So I had to be super diligent to make sure she wasn't putting the ducks in her mouth or doing anything else that might make the germ-a-phobes in my family go haywire.

We also decorated cookies.  A couple of times.

The kids also did some face painting.  They just love getting their faces painted!!  I didn't get a good picture of Tatum's face before she actually cleaned it off when we got home.

And then I let Kellen go through the haunted house. He came out saying that he wasn't scared but that he didn't want to do it again.  Then Tatum begged to do it, so she and I went through when it was on its least scary level.  That wasn't a smart idea on my part - even though it's geared for kids.  So then, because it was nearing the end of the event and we were the last group through, some of the people who were working the haunted house (or room) were starting to come out.  One of them had one of their props, and so she and I went over to talk to him, and I had her feel the prop and we talked about how everything she saw was just pretend.  I think it made her feel a little better.  The college kids putting it on were fabulous and I think they felt badly that she was so scared.

Our nights leading up to Halloween are quite full, and I'm so blessed to be near so many fun and family-friendly events for my kids!!

Pumpkin carving fun!

After our Fall Festival fun, we came home to carve our pumpkin.  The one we had purchased a while back and declared we would not wait until the last minute to carve. Yeah, that one.

Daddy took off the top to start the process.

Daddy proceeded by getting the kids involved in getting the 'guts' out.  This time, we decided that we were going to try our hand at making pumpkin seeds, so we were a little more careful with those guts that we have been in the past.

 We tried to get Jacey involved in the gutting process, but that took some work. Then we tried to get her just to feel the guts once they were out and help us sort the seeds. That process worked out a little better. She wasn't initially interested, but surprised Mommy by actually patting and molding the seedless guts!  I'll consider that a HUGE sensory success!

And then Daddy had the kids actually help with the carving of the pumpkin itself.  All kids got a turn at the carving stage (with Daddy assistance, of course - but I apparently didn't get good shots of all of the kids carving).

And then we have our final product!

Fall Festival!

Our church plans a fabulous fall festival each year the weekend of/before Halloween, so we were so excited for it to come this year!  We made plans to meet up with friends, the kids dressed up - and so did I - Tatum asked why I wasn't dressed up, and so I went as a superhero, according to her - unfortunately their daddy's Spiderman shirt ripped as he was putting it on, so he was unable to join in on the dressing up fun.  We ate the hot dogs, corn on the cob, but I think somehow managed to skip over the cotton candy (yes, craziness, I know!!), and played a multitude of games, got candy prizes, did bounce and activity houses and played in the petting zoo.

Shortly after eating, we made our way to the photo op.

I have my favorites, which one is(are) yours?

Then we played some games.

And then the girls had fun petting the various animals while the boys were running around in the activity houses.  I think they were fighting each other with the inflatables at this point.

All in all, they kids had a really good time at the Fall Festival again this year!  I love that our church puts on this event for everyone and provides WAY more activities than there is time to complete them!