Time article re: Schoolyard Bullying: Which kids are most vulnerable?
I thought this was interesting, especially the part about the (and I'll paraphrase) parents that were overly-disciplining their children. Really? That is a CAUSE of a child BEING bullied?
Hmmm....seems to me that a LACK of discipline in the home is more of a problem now-a-days, but hey, maybe that's just my opinion....
Discipline, respect for authority, ethics, integrity...who's lining up to teach THOSE things to the youth of America?
Anywhooooo....
So the department had a picnic after work today...and I took both the kids along with me (hey, they were serving hot dogs...one of BOTH of the kids favorites!). They kids behaved remarkably well, and we only had one melt-down moment. Unfortunately, that melt-down moment came at the expense of one of my co-workers, who was desperately trying to be sweet with Tatum, who wanted NOTHING to do with him.
Really. Nothing.
She was shrinking back in the stroller away from him, and he thought he saw a small flirty smile come from her and did the whole, 'Gonna get you' gig and tried to tickle her.
Yeah, that didn't go over well.
She started screaming, and reached her arms for me while wailing, with some of the largest tears streaming from her eyes that I think I've ever seen.
I don't think I've EVER seen her do that before in her life. She's almost always warmed up to people...she's just now getting to the separation anxiety stage (see earlier post from this week)...and especially with guys, she's warmed up to them quickly because she's such a flirt!
And poor thing...he was the ONLY person there tonight that she did this to...everyone else she was smiling, waving, flirting, talking to, you name it. I was even handing her off to some of the graduate students to hold for a bit when I got tired of chasing her all over the park - you know, 'cause SHE was chasing the boys around...And all he ever wants to do is talk and be sweet with my kids...he does that when I bring them into the office, too...but neither of them have ever reacted like THIS before!
We also had another opportunity for Tatum to interact with "puppy" - several puppies, to be truthful. And we got no closer to her actually petting ANY of them. Including the small, calm, VERY well-trained poodle that was incredibly willing to allow Tatum to do whatever to her. Once again, Tatum was fascinated with the "PUPPY!", but kept her own personal space from each and every one of them. When I tried to get her closer than her comfort zone, she was having NONE of it...she tensed up, grabbed me tightly, and squeezed me for all she was worth. It's truly a physical reaction that her ENTIRE body goes into when she's too close to them. Perhaps she'll overcome this as she gets older and we continue to casually expose her to them? I certainly don't think that we need to push her - especially not based on what I continue to see as her reaction when she's around them.
Any suggestions?
I don't think that either of my boys had that kind of reaction to animals, but Evan is definitely more "reserved" around them. He would get excited to see them, but the closer he got to them, the more nervous he became. He is still that way, but he does pet more animals now than he used to. We just encourage him, but try not to pressure him. Sounds like what you are doing. Hope it gets better!
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