When a door closes....

I frequently ask the Lord to give me direction not in the form of quiet whispers, but in flashing billboards and signs.

I don't do well with subtle. The Lord made me. He knows this. It's not a shocker to Him.

But I ask anyway, because I know myself. Typically He answers that particular prayers and gives my flashing billboards and large signs.

I appreciate this very much.

Last fall, I applied for a PhD program in the College of Education and Human Development, within the Department of Educational Administration & Human Resource Development here at Texas A&M University. The program itself was human resource development. It would have taken me a while, as my plan was to take a class, possibly two, at a time.

I have been talking about applying for my PhD for...oh...about 11 years now. Yup. Since I finished my Masters. But a little thing called the real world managed to get in the way. You know...the first 'real' job, a couple-three-kids, just life in general. And despite the fact that I'm surrounded by people continuing their education (with my advice and assistance) and by professors, I hadn't taken the plunge.

Until last fall. My co-worker was applying for the very same program, and that was the motivation I needed. Matt and I prayed about it, and we decided that things seemed like they were lining up for me to apply for the program. If God didn't want me in the program at that time, I simply wouldn't get accepted.

The individuals I asked to write my letters of recommendation were thrilled to do so, one of them even submitted the recommendation letter before I had a chance to submit the application or any supporting materials. All three of these professors felt incredibly confident that I would be admitted, and to tell you the truth, so did I. And so did my co-worker. And so did most of the other people that I told I was applying.

The decision was supposed to be made (I thought) by the end of February. The end of February came and went and I didn't hear anything. I did; however, get a text from another friend who had applied to the same program the evening of March 1st. She basically told me to check my email. I had been busy that afternoon in meetings and hadn't had a chance to check it.  So I did.


But God said, "No." Or at least, "Not right now."
 
I didn't get accepted into the program.

I certainly won't lie and say that I'm not disappointed, because I am. But I'm trusting that this is God's very large, flashing billboard directing me away from this path at this particular moment.  Those who I have informed of this have been shocked for me, which I appreciate. But I'm trusting that this was/is God's will for me right now. Perhaps He is saving me from myself, since I do have a tendency to take on more than I need to at any given time.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. - Proverbs 3:5-6