Well, when stories about you as a young child are legendary in your family - and not in the good way - reaping what you sow might not be such a good thing. My aunt still likes to tell of an incident when I told her I hated her and wish she had never come to live with us. I was three. I 'earned' all three stars with that particular episode and lost my 'prize' from my great grandfather that month.
Yes, I was on a reward system.
Reaping what I've sown. That's what (I'll speak only for myself) I'm doing. With Tatum.
Oh my.
In case you're wondering, this is not fun. (Ok family, you can quit laughing now....)
Tatum is having such a hard time being respectful at school. She's not listening and obeying, rolling her eyes at her teacher (she'll be 4, not 14 in March, but oh my oh my oh my), shrugging her shoulders and not caring at all about having to go to the office, or getting in time out.
While she doesn't like her spankings at the house when she's had days like this (and really, who would?), she still gets them. From both Daddy and Mommy (although truth be told, I think the ones from Daddy hurt quite a bit worse, and not just in the physical sense - that girl adores her Daddy!)
But something just isn't working. Or maybe it's just not working quick enough for my liking.
So after walking into daycare hoping that I wouldn't hear, 'I have a note for you for Tatum,' but hearing it anyway, I made a decision.
Her toys are going away.
I didn't discuss this beforehand with Matt, but he backed my plan once he was informed of it.
It was a very calm decision. Being calm was further proof that I do much better using the Lords strength, because calm wasn't the emotion I wanted to display. But I did.
I calmly talked to her about losing all of her toys. I told her toys were a reward. And that I was disappointed that she had made the choices she did. I told her that her Daddy and I were not going to allow her to be disrespectful to her teachers.
Then I proceeded to empty her room of all of her toys.
Out went the My Little Pony castle.
Out went the baby doll crib, full to the brim with baby dolls and bottles.
Out went the tub of stuffed animals.
Out went the tub of Little Einstein figures and the Pat Pat Rocket.
Out went her guitar.
Out went her paints.
Out went her shopping cart, filled to the brim with her purses and hats.
Out went all of her dress-up clothes, taken out of her shelf and put into a bag.
Out, out, out. So many toys taken out of the room. All while she sat on the bed and watched me.
Her toys are now in the garage, and she'll have to earn them back.
If you're wondering what to put on my name badge, I now go by "Mean Mommy."
And right now, I'll wear that badge proudly.
Lord help us get through this.
Good for you!! How is she taking it so far?
ReplyDeleteI typically go for "meanest momma ever". We did that with Sierra when she was about that age (plus her books after the snotty, "so? I still have my books!" comment)
ReplyDeleteLeslea, During the clean out, she continued to remind me of toys I missed. She cried over her newest baby doll and a stuffed dog - that was pretty much it. And she told me she was mad at me (in a rather polite way, actually). I told her it was ok to be mad at me but we had a reminder conversation about WHY her toys were going away. She said she was sad this morning that she didn't have any toys to play with, but we'll see how things go this weekend.
ReplyDeleteKimberly, I left the books, but bet I would take them out if she made a comment similar to the one Sierra did, too.
We are dealing with that same attitude from Lillie as well. Only thing is she only does it to me. Yes, reaping what we sow. I get "the stink eye," as I call it, frequently. My mother gets great belly laughs from all of this.
ReplyDeleteLillie is a great big sister, but I think her change in attitude, in part, is due to some jealousy. Included in my plan to derail my sweet 4 year old (just turned) from getting more "tude-y," I have added Mommy dates in addition to the harsher consequences. Just the two of us. The one set date is breakfast one Wednesday a month, she picks the place and I let her have whatever her heart desires off the kids menu. Although she still shows her tail occasionally, I think it's working.
Good Luck, I think the onset of attitude is one of the most trying things I dealt with, up to this point!
Amanda