Time Warp

So I have entered into a time warp...one where over 3 weeks have gone by since Jacey graced us with her presence, one where Tatum has moved into the 'big girl' classroom this week, and one where Kellen will start the 2nd grade in less than 2 weeks.

I feel like singing the Time Warp song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show...'Let's do the time warp again...'

I'm going to turn around and the girls will be teenagers. Oh my.

So...let's get everyone (or the five people who read this blog) updated on the variety of things that have taken place since I updated the blog last....

Jacey's arrival
I was slated to arrive at the hospital at 10 PM, and Matt and I went to the hospital, got settled in, and when I was checked, I was 30% effaced and about 1 cm dilated.  And apparently I had/have a posterior cervix, which was making it difficult to check me. (Fun for me!)

Here's the delivery time line...

• 11:40 PM, Cytotel medicine (to get my body ready for labor. Once administered, they ordered me to stay in bed for 2 hours - no problem!  I actually got to sleep a little!)
• 2:15 - 3:30 AM, Up and walking the halls (I was a sweet laboring woman and let Matt sleep for the first 45 minutes of my walking, then decided that I wanted someone to enjoy my misery with me share the experience with me)
• 3:40 AM (Saturday), 1 cm dilated (Way to go, body) and 50% effaced (Woo hoo)
• 3:45 - 5:40 AM, Napped!!
• 5:40 AM, Another dose of cytotel (The meds could only be given 6 hours apart, so this was the earliest they could give me the 2nd dose.  We had HOPED that my body would have progressed a little and that they would be able to start the pitocin at this point.  Unfortunately, I guess my body and Jacey had other ideas! I was still at 1 cm)
• 7:10 AM, Dose of staydol (Apparently, the cytotel was getting things going, and the nurses continued to ask if I wanted any meds.  I was determined to make it through this birth WITHOUT an epidural, and decided to get some staydol just to take the 'edge' off of the contractions)
• 8:45 AM, 1-2 cm, Doctor broke my water and indicated he needed about 15 minutes lead time to get back up to the hospital for the delivery.
• 9:45 AM, 3 cm, Pitocin started, another dose of staydol
• 10:42 AM, 4 cm
• 10:50 AM, Another dose of staydol
• 11:25ish AM, Dr arrived, 9 cm, and another contraction later I was begging to push.  Once everyone had taken their places, I pushed for about 5 minutes and......
• 11:34 AM, Jacey born!

The grandparents and the kids came in to see me at about 10:30 AM or so...the kids wanted to see us and present Jacey with her gifts, so they came in to check on me and then everyone went and waited for Jacey. As you can see from the picture below, Tatum was a little bit concerned, and I'm not sure that seeing me made much of a difference.

Apparently I am a power pusher.  With every birth I've gone through, I've busted the blood vessels in my eyes and on my face.  This one was no different....blood vessels busted in my eyes, all over my face and neck, and I even made my own nose bleed during the pushing as well.  I guess that's why Matt said she shot out like a rocket?

And, like her brother, she had the cord wrapped around her neck. Twice. But I apparently also had excess cord, so it wasn't wrapped tightly, which was probably why we didn't see it on the ultrasound.  Either that or she managed to wrap it during delivery.

7 lb, 2 oz
19 1/2 inches long
11:34 AM
July 17
Jacey Victoria Hapes

Our bookend baby!

The kids came in shortly later to meet their sister.  They loved her immediately, of course!

And here is one of the first pictures of newly expanded family!

I stayed in the hospital through Monday, and left shortly after lunch on Monday.  Kellen's birthday was on Tuesday, and his birthday party was the following weekend.

Kellen's birthday
We decided to have the birthday party at GattiTown, and as we have learned, not many of Kellen's school friends could make it (darn summer birthdays!).  However, he had some church and family friends in attendance, and he had a GREAT time!

He is obviously in to super heroes....Spiderman cake (thank you, Heather!) and plenty of Spiderman, Iron Man, and other comic heroes for gifts.

Jacey's first bath
Jacey is speedier than the other two, and her cord fell off at the 10 day mark.  Lucky for me, grandma was still here and was able to keep her bath-streak going.  She's given each of my kiddos their first FULL bath after the cords have fallen off.  She happens to LOVE giving babies baths and I do not.  Really.  I know that seems to be something lots of parents look forward to, but I don't like it.  The babies are too little, squirmy, and slick.  I feel like they're going to pop right out of my hands and arms when I'm giving them baths when they're teeny tiny.  I know, I know...I'm a wierdo!

Anyway, once we got the water temperature correct, Jacey LOVED her bath!  In her pink tub, nonetheless...

Although her face may not show it, she really DID like her bath!  According to her Paw Paw, she's a serious girl.  In actuality, she doesn't like bright lights and I miss her happy faces because of my flash!  She ADORES getting her head played with...hair washed, head rubbed and/or stroked (which both of the kids do quite often), and hair brushed.  Loves it!

Tatum's crazy hair/hat day
Tatum's school has been trying to have a 'fun' event at least once a week during the summer.  Last week it was crazy hair or hat day.  In Tatum's case, she picked out a hat (which had a matching purse to go along with it) and I did her hair in low pig-tails.  I figured when she finally got tired of the hat and pulled it off we would accomplish the crazy hair bit as well.

Kinda' like a two for one deal!

Isn't she just stinkin' adorable???


Kellen's Music Camp Performance
Last week Kellen was at music camp, marking the second year in a row that he's participated in this camp in Conroe.  He did a wonderful job during the performance, singing and doing the movements, etc.  He's such a ham!

It was themed - GPS (God's Plan for Salvation)...such a great show!!

And of course, one of his biggest fans was his sister Tatum!

Jacey behaved quite well, despite my concern...I was convinced I wasn't going to get a chance to watch anything, and she pretty much slept her way through the performance.  Yay!

Cookie monster!

I had an intense craving today for no-bake chocolate cookies.  So intense that I fought the urge to leave work and go home to make them.  I fought the urge ALL AFTERNOON LONG!

After I picked Tatum up and before we went to meet our Sunday school dinner group, this is what our kitchen counter looked like.

Tatum and I both sampled the chocolatey goodness and were very pleased with the results.  She was a great helper, even if I was paranoid that she was going to burn herself on the stove while I was cooking them (and yes, I kept her away from the hot stove very well).

A few (ahem...) additional cookies after getting home from Chic-fil-A and my craving is satisfied.  I think.  Now, if only I could put them away for good and stop eating them.

Weekend Fun

So indulge me while I backtrack just a bit to this weekend.  We were able to get some things done around the house on Saturday, and Matt was kind enough to let me sleep away most of Sunday to rest.

In the midst of my nap, he must have fallen asleep as well.

As you can see, it's probably not a good idea for both adults to be asleep at the same time in our house.  Apparently the kids, Tatum specifically, felt like Daddy needed some doctoring.

Monday's Mission Accomplished

My home to-do list consisted of:

• Laundry
• Dishes
• Kitchen Counters
• Sweep and Mop Kitchen Floor
• Vacuum (the entire house)
• Soak in the bath with some bath goodies

I managed to complete all tasks (well, you and I both know that laundry is NEVER actually finished) except for the vacuuming last night and rewarded myself (and my aching back) with a soak in the tub.

It was so nice and relaxing that I actually fell asleep in the tub.  I'm not sure that had the desired effect on my aching back!

This morning, I finished off the list by putting in another load of laundry and vacuuming the house (all rooms except Kellen's).  Pretty good job on my to-do list, if I say so myself!

Let the countdown begin!

Had another ultrasound and non-stress today and both turned out fine.  She's hanging in there on the low end of the 'normal' range for AFI.  And she gained a whopping half a pound in three days!

Yup.  You read that correctly.  She went from 6 lb, 6 oz on Friday to 6 lb, 14 oz today (give or take 7 oz to each of those).

The doc popped his head in to say hi and I took advantage of the opportunity to ask about induction.  And we're now scheduled to go into the hospital THIS Friday at 10 PM to begin the process.

As you can see, my maniac-ness is continuing.  I thought about it, bugged Matt, then asked both Aunt Boo and Kellen what they thought about holding off on the birthday party for a week and having Jacey this weekend instead.  To be fair, I actually asked Kellen if he wanted Jacey to come before his birthday and/or birthday party.  He said yes.  He wanted her to come before his birthday and birthday party so that she could come to the party, too.  And let's be realistic...there's no way Aunt Boo is going to come down here so close to his birthday and NOT celebrate it.

So he'll end up getting a family birthday celebration and his 'real' birthday party out of the deal (although he doesn't know that) and we're good!

By my calculations, I have 4 nights to finish up the projects around the house.  And tonight Tatum and I went to the pool so that she could have a swim lesson and I could float.  I'm so glad that I went ahead and mustered up the energy to do that!  She and I had fun playing before her lesson, she had fun with Cymon during her lesson, I was able to float in water that was amazingly cool, and even swam some (slow) laps while she was having her lesson.  And I actually feel a little refreshed!

Praise the Lord!

We got home, I bathed her, we had dinner, got ready for bed, read and she's tucked in all tuckered out.  Nice!

Now on to my maniac ways.  I've been having contractions since about 3:30 or so this afternoon.  For about 2 hours they were 3-9 minutes apart.  A little more sporadic than what would be considered 'real' labor, if I remember correctly, but strong ones nonetheless.  They stopped while we were at the pool (for the most part), and started back up when we got back home.  I'm thinking they're nothing, other than a nusiance.

So, to continue with mustering energy, I have unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and the dishes are washing right now.  I've done 3 loads of laundry (so far) tonight, and have a stack of clean laundry to fold and put away.  I've swept and mopped the kitchen floor and cleaned off the counters.  I've picked up quite a bit in the living room, and wanted to vacuum the house, but since Tatum is already in bed and asleep, I'll try to do that in the morning before we leave for the day.

And I'm determined to soak in the tub tonight and use some more of my rediscovered 'goodies' from the bathroom cleaning spree.

Wish me luck!

My maniac ways continue.....

Tatum and I went grocery shopping after I picked her up today, and before putting the groceries away, I decided that, despite being exhausted from work and the simple excursion to the store, that it was the PERFECT time to deep clean the refrigerator.

Maniac!

But, it does look much better, even though I didn't completely finish due to a finger injury.  Apparently the corner portion of the microwave is incredibly sharp, and when you clean next to it without paying complete attention (or have an incredibly pins-n-needles, carpel-tunnel-like hand), you can rip quite a bit of skin away from underneath your fingernail.  OUCH!

Project done, at least for now...that's my cue to sit down, relax, put my feet up, and watch a movie with Tatum.

Maniac...

That's what I've felt like almost all day...beginning at shortly after 4 AM when Tatum burst into my room, poked me, and asked me if it was wake up time.  When I told her no, she asked if she could snuggle with me, got into bed, snuggled, and promptly fell back asleep.

I didn't.

Not that it would have mattered too much, because my brain was doing crazy things to me in my sleep last night.  Note to self: do NOT look up diagnoses on the internet before bedtime.  And by the way, 'oligohydramnios' is the fancy word for the condition of low amniotic fluid.  AFI is the acronym for amniotic fluid index.  A normal AFI is between 8-18 cm, 5-6 cm classifies you as oligohydramnios, and they use measurements from the four quadrants during the ultrasound to get the number.  You know, in case you were wondering.

Crazy me, I dreamed about various scenarios related to Jacey and her AFI all night last night and was virtually convinced that I was going to go in for my ultrasound today and then head straight to the hospital.

Maniac, I tell you.  Maniac.

So immediately prior to going to sleep, I started writing all of the things that I could think of that I needed to get done at work, and some home-related items, before having Jacey.  And I worked from that to-do list quite a bit today, but it still isn't all completed.

Maniac.

However, I went to the doctors for my check-up, passed my non-stress test with flying colors, and had a great ultrasound.  Jacey was even trying to talk to us.  Or swallow.  Or something, while we watched her.  And she's even lower now than she was earlier in the week, and without her starting to actually come out, I didn't realize that was even possible!  (In case you're wondering, her AFI was a little over 9 cm...so we're in the clear for her fluid levels right now!)  She's measuring a whopping 6 pounds, 6 ounces at this point, and with three weeks and 2 days left to go (officially), she may end up being the biggest of our kiddos yet!  If she decides to wait that long.  Or if I decide to let her wait that long.  The doc said he would be ok with inducing me late next week, but we're looking at quite a few conflicting logistics for that to actually occur next weekend....an ABS reunion Saturday, Aunt Boo coming (I think it would be nice if she got to meet Jacey while she were here, but...), then we're ALSO planning Kellen's birthday party for Sunday afternoon (and we probably wouldn't be able to guarantee that we would be out of the hospital in time to actually make it to Kellen's birthday party, and I'm not really ok with that).  In a perfect world, my plan would be to go in to get induced Thursday night, have her Friday morning, get released from the hospital on Saturday, then have Kellen's party on Sunday.

Did I mention that I'm in maniac mode over here??

Anyway, the weather wasn't really cooperating for Tatum to have her swim lesson tonight, so we headed to Target to pick up some odds and ends for Jacey instead.  I had forgotten how quickly things add up when you're dealing with baby gear!  Breastmilk storage bags, cream, pads, a bottle, extra nipples, etc....Craziness!

Tatum was being her usual chatterbox self, and I finally asked her to be quiet for just 5 minutes as we were checking out.  How did the little toot respond, "How about 2 minutes, Mommy?"

The lady checking us out laughed, then (in all seriousness), looked at me, pointed to my belly, and asked if I was having another one.  On the outside, I smiled, shook my head and said "Yes, another girl." On the inside I wanted so badly to look at her with the same level of seriousness on my face and say, "I'm sorry, what do you mean? Why do you ask?"  People, I'm way past the point of trying to ask in a nonchalant way.  And if she really didn't know I was pregnant, whoa buddy.....I look like I have a watermelon sticking straight out in front of me!  She completely cracked me up!

Progress....

So Matt and I really made some progress on the house this weekend....we're getting there, but still have much to do.  You know when you really go through things that you end up making more of a mess before it all becomes clean, orderly and tidy, right?  Well, that's where we are.

Tatum's bed got moved from "their" room to the "girls" room late yesterday afternoon, and that room is shaping up quite nicely (apologies in advance for the poor picture quality...photo taken with my phone).

As you can see, both beds are in there, and other than the cradle (the odd looking thing up on its side), things are pretty well in place.  I still need to assemble the changing table and organize it, but it's certainly getting there!  There is the other bookshelf in there as well (against the wall you can't see) and it looks really nice.

The unintended outcome of our progress were the reactions the kids had last night to bedtime.  They were non-too-happy to no longer be sharing a room with each other.  Tatum bawled.  And bawled.  And bawled some more...even with Daddy AND Mommy trying to comfort her.  Kellen was a little better, but sad, and tried to comfort Tatum in the meantime.  And the odd thing is that Tatum wants to share a room with Jacey (but in her defense, there is no Jacey outside of Mommy's tummy yet, soo......)

And in the living room, the computer desk and computer are all set up, and Matt spent much of yesterday afternoon and evening getting things organized in there.

Next up on the list, assemble and organize the changing table in the girls room, clean up Kellen's room, and finalize the living/dining room transformation.

Whew!

We're getting there....

So Matt and I have managed to swap bookshelves (taking the one from the "play" room into the living room and the one from the living room into the "play" room), purged items from said bookshelves, and have gone through toys in bins and books (both ours and the kids).

I also inventoried all of the girl 0-3 month clothes, washed, folded them, and they're now put away in the former "play", soon to be girls, room on the newly inserted bookshelf.

Next up, moving the computer desk and computer into the living room, rearranging the furniture in there, bringing Tatum's bed back into the girls room, and then setting up the changing table.  I'm hoping we'll get all of this done by the end of the day tomorrow (it would be wonderful if it was all done today, but I know that I'm certainly running out of steam!).

Just can't take it anymore!

Those are the words Kellen said to me as he walked back out of his room and into the bathroom, determined to pull the loose tooth.  And so he did.

So, he's lost both middle bottom teeth and now the top right side tooth (you know, the right one of the front pair).

He just yanked that sucker right outta there!

When did he get so big?  I remember marking down in his baby book and on our calendar when he first got those teeth.....

To back the story up, he and I had a date night tonight...just us.  It's been the first time in ages that he and I have gotten to spend time together, so I picked him up, we went and got pizza and a milkshake (and used two more of the coupons that expired today, thank you very much) then headed home, where he got to select the movie of his choosing.  We hung out, then read a book about dolphins (he chose, not me...although I adore dolphins!) and he read it to me.  He's such a good reader!  Then he got all ready for bed and was putting himself to bed when he decided that he was done with the loose tooth.

Hangin' in there....

If folks ask me how I'm doing, that's the response they're most likely to get.  Is it sad that I officially have over 4 weeks left and I'm already to the 'hangin' in there' point?

"give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

• I don't feel like giving thanks right now because my body is a human humidity reader, swelling larger and larger the higher the humidity levels go.
• I don't feel like giving thanks right now because it takes me longer than I think it should to actually be able to move once I get up from sitting down.
• I don't feel like giving thanks right now because the face I see in the mirror no longer resembles the image of me that I have in my head.
• I don't feel like giving thanks right now because I am seeing way too many numbers on the clock throughout the night.
• I don't feel like giving thanks right now because I'm having to trek to the bathroom every half hour.

BUT, this verse, and many others with the same overall theme, don't tell me to give thanks when I think my circumstances warrant it.

"give thanks in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES..."

Pretty straight-forward, isn't it?

How do you give thanks when you feel blah?  If you have the answer, let me know, but I'm guessing you adopt a Nike attitude and JUST DO IT.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 (NIV)

In all things.

So, God is working for the good in:

• the fact that my body is a human humidity reader
• the fact that it takes me longer than I think it should to actually be able to move once I get up from sitting down
• the fact that the face I see in the mirror no longer resembles the image of me that I have in my head
• the fact that I'm seeing lots of numbers on the clock throughout the night
• the fact that I'm having to go to the bathroom every half hour

He has a plan for all of this.  (And you're probably thinking, 'Well, duh, Rebecca....the plan is for you to be able to deliver a little baby girl!')  Well yes, but considering that some lucky folks go through their pregnancy with very little 'unpleasant' symptoms, I think there might be more to the plan than just delivering.

We'll see.  And I'll trust.

But if you ask me how I'm doing and I'll still probably answer, "I'm hangin' in there!"

Interesting facts....

• My kids are apparently so competitive that challenging them to a race -- one to determine who can fall asleep the fastest -- actually works.  Yeah, I'm cool like that.  (Don't you wish you would have thought of it? - Go ahead, steal the idea...it works!)
• In the time it takes to cook ramen noodles (cut me some slack, they looked really good to me at the store tonight! And I didn't buy the oreos that I really wanted), I can unload the dishwasher. (The kids ate a much healthier dinner, in case you're wondering)
• In the time it takes for said noodles to cool, I can reload the dishwasher and clean off the kitchen counters. (Who knew?)
• I apparently have no "off" button for popcicles right now.

Like a weed.....

growing, that is.  According to the ultrasound today, Jacey is measuring 5 lb 12 oz, and we officially have 4 weeks and 5 days to go.

Just for comparison sake, Tatum weighed in at 6 lb, 8.8 oz when she was born at 38 weeks.  Kellen was 7 lb, 2 oz full-term.

After the scariness that was Friday at the doctors office, today went much smoother.  Nevermind the fact that we had technical difficulties during the non-stress test - at least they were technical, not problems with Jacey!  After being hooked up for probably 10 minutes, when the nurse came in to check on me she realized that the machine had run out of paper and we hadn't actually recorded anything.  So they restocked the machine and started over. 

And not only could I hear her movements, I could feel them, too!  YAY!

And the ultrasound looked good.  Good fluid levels, still no appearance of the cord around her neck, and great growth.

So stay tuned for Friday's installment....

Cleaning

So for those of you who know me, you know I aspire to have a clean house but my wishes and reality don't always line up.

Today Matt is at a Sunday school golf tourney with the guys, and I'm going to see just how much I can get accomplished (with periodic breaks - I AM in the about-to-pop-pregnant mode, here) before he gets home.

Note: I'm going to work on the post in pieces as I take breaks, so I apologize in advance if it's somewhat disjointed.

First on the list, hit the "hot spots" (thank you FlyLady for the terminology).  For those of you not in the know, "hot spots" are the flat surfaces around your house where you dump things.  In my house, there are many of them, including the butcher block in the kitchen, the dining room table, the cabinet in the dining room, our love seat (which is currently covered in Matt's clean and folded clothes that he assures me he'll put away later on today), the desk, and our night stands.  I've tacked the butcher block and moved to our bedroom to tackle the night stands.  Matt's didn't take very long, but mine has taken more than a half hour because I'm actually going through things and getting rid of junk.

And apparently I feel the need to harbor all of this JUNK right next to my bed on my night stand.  Ug.  Must. stop. the. pattern.  I want my bedroom to feel like a retreat....not something we need to retreat FROM!  So I'm actually taking an aside from the hot spots and have decided to focus on our bedroom.....I have cleaned off our nightstands, GONE THROUGH the STUFF that was on (and around) my nightstand (and shockingly, this took the l-o-n-g-e-s-t amount of time), pulled the miscellaneous stuff from underneath the bed, and cleaned the TV stand (which also functions nicely as a hot spot).  I now have magazines and papers from way too long ago thrown away, coupons clipped and organized in their rightful place, and clean floors (and by clean I mean uncluttered, not vacuumed - I haven't made it that far yet).

Nice!

And here is question for the masses (or the 3 people that actually read this blog) - what do you do with the kiddo keepsakes?  I mean what do you really DO with them?  The mother's day cards, the cute notes and drawings, etc.  Do you put them in a box, do you take a picture of them, what???  Please tell me your secrets, because my kids are incredibly loving and make things for me that I truly do not know what to do with.  Help!

I'm now putting away the lingering clean clothes from the room...then I believe I WILL vacuum to complete the transformation.  I am resisting the urge to pull EVERYTHING out of the closet floor (isn't it amazing how much stuff happens to fall to the floor of your closet and goes unnoticed???) because I don't know if I will have enough time to go through it all before Matt gets home, and I would like him to see what appears to be a finalized project.  Resist I must.

But perhaps later....

And the stuff under the sink in our bathroom is calling me to go through it as well.....

Baby update

Well, she's still baking, but sure did scare me yesterday.

I went in for my non-stress and doctor appointment, and had ingested my Dr. Pepper immediately prior to like advised.  When I went in, they gave me yet another Dr. Pepper, just to be on the safe side.  Well, after getting hooked up to the machine for the non-stress, I realized that I still couldn't feel her (much).  A few minutes later, the doctor comes in to check on me and I inform him that in general, her movements have diminished dramatically over the last week and that I'm just not feeling her move nearly as often as I had. 

He had apparently already gone through my files looking for any patterns of this, and had found none.  So he was paying attention.  His response was that we were going to get to the bottom of it. TODAY. If he didn't like the way the non-stress looked, he was going to do another ultrasound to check on her, and depending on that, possibly send me to L&D for a contraction stress test (using pitocin to cause contractions and monitor how she responded to those).  And despite the fact that we want her to 'bake' for two more weeks to be considered full-term, if he didn't like that, she was coming outta there.

After I finished the 2nd Dr. Pepper, they moved me to my left side to see if that would get her going even more, and he stayed in the room with me listening and monitoring.

Funny thing was, we realized we could hear her movements on the machine, but I couldn't feel them.  At all. So we started 'ticking' the movements as we heard them, rather than as I felt them.  When we did that, she passed the non-stress test.

So my big question - Why am I not feeling her move when it's apparent that she is?  He didn't have a definitive answer to that one...

Still concerned, he has the ultrasound machine pulled into the room and does an ultrasound on her.  After he searched for a while, I finally asked him what he was looking for - and he was checking her fluid levels as well as trying to see if she had the cord wrapped around her neck.  Well, because she's head down - and VERY head down, he actually had to move her out of my pelvis with one hand and try to get a picture of her head and neck with the u/s using the other.

Ouch.

With her head momentarily out of my pelvis, we're able to clearly see her head and her spine, and do NOT see evidence that the umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck.  And her fluid levels look good.

Praise God!

So we're still left with my big question.  And no definitive answer.  We discuss adjusting my positions if it has been a while since I've felt her, and I practiced supporting myself with my arms and laying on my stomach (yep, you read that correctly) in order to put pressure on her and force her to really kick and move. That worked, by the way.  So if she goes too long without me feeling her movements, that is the plan.

As for the potential (and most probable) reason for why I'm not feeling her....she is so low and positioned in such a way that all of her arm and leg movements aren't noticeable to me.  When she's rotating herself - I can feel (and see) that.  I see something resembling a bottom rolling across my belly.  And after she does that, I frequently feel what I'm guessing are her knees or feet on the sides of my belly.

So, reassured that she was in fact moving, and armed with some techniques to use if I became nervous about my lack of feeling her move, we decided to call it a day.  Same ole, same ole for next week....ultrasound and non-stress on Monday and another non-stress and doctor visit on Friday!

Vote for Tatum

Well, if you saw my post on voting for Kellen, you know what I'm talking about.  I JUST found out that Tatum is in the running as well!

So....click here to vote for Tatum.  And while you're at it, remember that you can vote daily!!

2nd verse,

same as the first.

Dealing with cellulitis again with Tatum.  She had her swim lesson last night at the pool, we made it home, ate, bathed, and I didn't notice anything (but also didn't closely inspect her feet for bites, either).

I guess I need to add that to our daily routine, because when we got up this morning and I was helping her get dressed, I noticed that the area around her ankle was red, hot and VERY swollen.  I drew the outline, gave her Benadryl, and we headed on with our day.  Once I got in the office, I gave her doctors office a call and scheduled an appointment for her for mid-day and he confirmed my mommy-diagnosis - cellulitis.  Again.

Armed with a prescription for the same two antibiotics she was on barely a month ago, I dropped her off at school for her nap, dropped the prescription off at the pharmacy, and went home to have lunch.  While I was home, I stripped her bedding, all of her loveys, and the numerous stuffed animals that accompany her to sleep and threw them in the washing machine on hot. Just in case. I also took all of her crocs, minus the ones she was wearing, and soaked them in clorox-water in the sink. Just in case. Then I went to pick up the prescription, headed back to day care, woke her up to take her meds, then stayed with her until she went back to sleep.

So now I'm on a mission to see how in the world we can avoid this from happening again.  Antibiotic ointment on anything resembling a bite or sting is apparently a must for her. Daily. So is insect repellent with high concentrations of DEET.  Note to self: I need to look at what they're using at day care when they go outside. One of her teachers did tell me that they put the insect repellent on them twice for each period of time that the kids are outside.  Not twice a day, twice per outing. You would think that would be sufficient, but apparently not.  Unless we go to the pool for swimming after school during the week, we aren't outside. It's not that I don't like the outdoors, I just can't handle the heat right now. So she isn't getting the bites from being outside after school (which is good, since the mosquitoes that vector the west nile virus are out at dusk). On the weekends we might go and do things, but it's different every weekend and again, I can't really handle being outside too terribly much right now.

So, I'm trying to clean and disinfect everything I can, even though that's probably not the cause of her infections.

I'm open to suggestions if anyone has them!

Vote for Kellen!

A week or two ago, I entered a few photos of Kellen in a contest Parents magazine was running.  They're looking for kiddos to grace the cover of their magazine....and will send some semi-finalists to a photo shoot in August to get the shots they'll make the final selections from for the contest.

Well, I received an email today indicated that Kellen is in the running to become one of the weekly reader's choice finalists!

('Cause my boy can be quite the ham, right?!)

Anywhoooo, follow the link to vote on Kellen and vote for him!  You can do this daily and through June 27th.

Whoo hoo!!

Fail....

I think I failed my non-stress test today.  Jacey was moving some during the ultrasound, kicked the nurse as she was putting the monitors onto the ever-expanding space that used to function as my abdominals, and then didn't move again for nearly 20 minutes. Apparently Matt and I breed stubborn and strong-willed children, a trait that is evident even in utero (shocking, huh?). I had 1 kick/movement during the entire non-stress test, despite drinking a Dr. Pepper prior to going into the doctors office and drinking a Barq's (with bite, mind you) during the test.  I had 3 other "marks" on the read-out that were contractions. That was it. Ug.

I say I think I failed because I don't actually know what the criteria is for passing a non-stress test in terms of number of movements in that amount of time and I am not scheduled to see the doctor until Friday, after my next non-stress test, when we'll go over all of the results from this week. Of course, that is unless I get a phone call first, which the nurse said was likely.

Jacey has actually been fairly inactive today, which is unlike her.  As my zombie-like demeanor might give away, she normally keeps me up quite a bit at night either kicking her legs causing knees and/or feet to attempt to escape my belly or by practicing her punches on my bladder.

However, as I type this now, she's practicing a few of her kicks.  Maybe she wants to come out and go straight into Tae Kwon Do with her brother?  Who knows.

So, since I'm feeling her move some, I'm trying not to stress about what I don't know about the results of the test today....'cause stressing about it certainly isn't going to help matters!

The end result

...of my neurotic behavior leading to the maternity shoot and Maleigh's awesome photographic talents can be found here.

I love the sneak peak and cannot wait to see the rest of them!

I just love how this one turned out....if you're gonna be round, you might as well have fun with it!

Chick-fil-A deals

A friend mentioned to me this weekend that the Chick-fil-A here in town was having 'deals' every day they are open during the summer.

So, for you College Station folks, here goes (in case you don't have this info yet, and I did the best I could to write down quickly, so be sure and double check this at CFA):
Monday - Milkshake Monday! Buy a 20 oz milkshake, get a spicy chicken sandwich free
Tuesday - 5-8 PM, Kids night - Kids eat free w/ purchase of an adult meal
Wednesday - Free refills on your waffle fries from 5 PM - close
Thursday - Free 3 pack mini OR breakfast chicken sandwich for breakfast (No purchase!)
Friday - If you purchase 4 meals, you get 4 desserts for free
Saturday - Get a free small nugget tray with the purchase of a large nugget tray

Cool, huh?  I think I have my Thursday breakfast lined up!

Big girl

According to the ultrasound I had today, Jacey's pretty big, at least for 33 weeks, anyway.  She's measuring 4 pounds, 12 ounces (with a 6 ounce range on either side of that figure).  Considering that the 'average' (according to several week-by-week calendars I've browsed) is  4 1/2 pounds, I guess that probably makes her pretty normal sized, but yay!

I was able to see her yawning and blinking at me today.  Very interesting.  She must have been in a rare sleepy mood, because she wasn't moving very much during the ultrasound OR the non-stress test.  She didn't kick it into gear until I had finished off a bottle of Gatorade.

But, it must have been good enough, because the doc popped in to check on me and said he liked the way the non-stress test looked and that the ultrasound looked good, with a pocket of amniotic fluid for her. 

Yay!

I'll do another non-stress test on Friday, see him again, and then next week will be more of the same!

What a weekend!

You know the weekends you have that are thoroughly enjoyable?  The ones when, at the end of it, you look back and think, "I just had a GREAT weekend!"

Well, I had one of those weekends this past weekend.  And I was so blessed by it!

Kellen had been gone for almost two weeks (home the weekend prior), so it was wonderful to spend some time with him.  Tatum had missed him terribly, so it was great to see them playing together (and sweetly 95% of the time, too).

Saturday was an incredibly busy day.  We started out with me going crazy trying to get EVERYTHING together for the maternity photo shoot that was slated to begin at 9 AM.  It was one of those times when I thought I knew what I was going to wear, what I was going to accessorize with, and then when I put it on, I didn't like it.  And if I didn't like it on, I certainly wasn't going to feel good enough in it to get pictures made.

So after grabbing clothes for the kids in colors that coordinated, deciding then changing my mind about what Matt was going to wear, and grabbing almost a half dozen shirts for me, we set out.  Late.  Our poor photographer called 2 or 3 times just to make sure she didn't miss us at our set location, but it was just one of those mornings!  Luckily, she's really easy-going and completely understood my neurotic-ness.

Long story short, after getting her opinion on clothing choice (which luckily coincided with what my leanings were), we were ready to go.  We took lots of candid shots with all of us as a family at the George Bush Library by the pond and gardens.  There was a nice breeze, so it wasn't completely miserable, either!  Quick change of clothes for me, and Matt and I took some shots together.  Then back to the car for clothing changes for me and the kids and we took some pictures fully belly style....with the kids painting my belly.  Kellen even wrote 'family' (misspelled, but how adorable!) on my tummy.

I cannot wait to see how they turn out!

As we were on our way to the photo shoot, I realized why I was wanting it to turn out perfectly. --This would be my last chance to do this.

Ever.

NOTE: I know the drill about never say never.  But if there is a 4th baby Hapes, God will be truly demonstrating his sense of humor. Big time.

I had wanted to take maternity pictures with both of the other kids, but I never followed through with it for one reason or another.  I have in my head the types of images that I wanted to see...but never made it happen.

And this was my last shot.

No wonder I was so stressed out!  Once I realized that, I relayed my epiphany to Matt, took a deep breath, and thought...but Maleigh will make sure we get good shots.

We finished up with the photo shoot right around 11 AM, then headed to the house for a quick change of clothes, grabbed some coupons and went to eat at a pizza place we hadn't tried yet, but had coupons for (that expire at the end of the month!).  In case you're wondering, Hungry Howie's Pizza is FABULOUS!  I thought it was a little pricey, even with the coupons, but then realized that I was full on only two pieces of pizza, which is rare for me (pregnant or non-pregnant, I can put down some pizza!).  Oddly enough, the same thing happened for Matt, so we ended up with lunch AND dinner out of the deal.

Then I headed out to my spa day, and had a facial, massage, and pedicure.  SO NICE!  I finally made use of the Christmas (yes, I know...Christmas) present that Matt gave me.  As I finished my spa session, I set out to use yet another coupon at Bath Junkie for some salt scrub.  Things went a little awry when I was rear-ended en route (no injuries, thank God!) and then realized that my attempt was in vain anyway, since Bath Junkie has apparently closed here in town.

Back to the house I went, and then we hung out for the remainder of the night.

Sunday I apparently needed lots of sleep, because I mumbled something to the effect of, 'Just a few more minutes' to Matt when he attempted to wake me up to get ready for church.  I have no recollection of that conversation.  At any rate, the kids lounged, I lounged, Matt tried desperately to get rid of his headache, and I mustered the energy to clean up a little around the house in the meantime.

Matt and Kellen went to mow grass while Tatum was finishing her nap and snuggling with me, then when they got back to the house we headed out for our Sunday School dinner group playdate/picnic at one of the splash pads here in town.  We were there between 2 1/2 and 3 hours and the kids had a BLAST!  You would have thought that there were holes in their stomachs with as much as they continued to eat, but they played HARD!

Afterwards, we went to Ben and Jerry's to use yet another coupon (catching my theme yet?) for a buy one, get one free ice cream.  We all had yummy flavors and it was a great ending to a fun filled family weekend!

We got back home, Matt bathed the kids and we got them settled down for the night, he went to the store (gotta love my man who will shop for me!) and then he and I stayed up waaaayyy too late watching Wolverine.  I had forgotten how much I liked that movie!

Here's hoping your weekend was as enjoyable as mine!

High risk

High risk is not a term I would use to describe myself. Or this pregnancy. So it was a little disconcerting when, after my first non-stress test today at the doctors office, I realized that phrase was circled on my paperwork as I was taking my slip up to the front to check out.

Hmph.

It's just a phrase. And it changes nothing, really.

My God is bigger than a phrase on a piece of paper at any doctors office and He's in control of this situation.

In case you're wondering, the non-stress test went well today.  Stay tuned for Monday, when we do another non-stress and have an ultrasound to measure the amniotic fluid levels.

Week by week

I had my doctors appointment today and we'll now be taking it week by week.  Overall, it was a good check up. 

• Blood pressure is good (which is a good thing considering how much 'edema' I have...if my bp was off I'm thinking I would be quite a bit more concerned about that particular nuisance).
• Weight gain is just weight gain.
• Muscle tightness/soreness and joint stiffness warranted me a trip to the Health Foods Store for magnesium to supplement...1000 mg per day (or 250% of the daily value).  Note to self: I should look at my prenatal to see how much is in that as well.
• Heart pounding and racing was attributed to a hyper volume issue.  Nothing to be concerned about unless it doesn't stop and/or I have tachycardia to go along with it (which I haven't).
• Continual contractions, despite a heavy fluid intake of water and gatorade is not concerning at this point, but he indicated the magnesium will probably help with that as well. (YAY!)

The monitoring begins tomorrow with the first non-stress test.  Then on Monday I'll go in for an ultrasound and another non-stress test.  Next Friday, I'll have the third non-stress test and see the doctor again to go over the results of all of those things.  He wants to look at the ultrasound to see how things look with her right now before making the final decision on the steroid shot sequence.

Then we'll go week to week to see how things are progressing.  I'm hopeful that the Monday ultrasound/non-stress and either a Thursday or Friday non-stress/doctors appointment schedule can be maintained to minimize my trips.  The office is very accommodating, so we'll see!

When the thunder rolls.....

....and you're at the pool, it's not good.

Yesterday was supposed to be the beginning of Tatum's private swim lessons with one of the graduate students from my department.  She taught both of the kids two summers ago, and they did wonderfully with her!  And yes, in case you're wondering, we actually gave Tatum lessons with her when she was just over a year old...and she did great!

Back to the point.  Tatum and I arrive at the pool maybe ten minutes till 6, and we were supposed to meet Cymon at 6 for the lesson.  No biggie, we're early (for once as of late) and head on in to the pool to splash around.  At this point in time, the quicker I can get somewhere that makes me a little more buoyant, the better!

We play for a few minutes, then I hear it.  Thunder.  I wasn't the only one who heard it, because the lifeguards were conversing back and forth amongst themselves to be sure they heard it, too.  Yup.  Whistle blows and they clear the pool......just as Cymon was walking toward the entrance.  So we cancel the actual lesson and agree to meet again on Wednesday as originally scheduled. 

I then went to the lifeguard to ask about a rain check, only to be told that they aren't 'officially' shutting down the pool, they're just required to wait 20 minutes after the last thunder clap.

So we wait.  For 20 minutes, just like we were told.

After the all clear, I rinse Tatum off (because in the meantime, she went and played on the playground.  I didn't think they wanted her getting back into the pool with dirt and sand on her.  Just my guess.) and back into the pool we go.

For all of 45 seconds.

And the thunder rolled.  Yup.

Here's hoping that the forecast for Wednesday is better!

Update

Wow.  I've realized that I've been less than stellar at updating the blog on actual family happenings.  Sorry 'bout that!

Here goes:

Kellen completed the first grade a little over a week ago.  That in and of itself is monumental (at least in this momma's book!)  Unfortunately, he spent the Thursday prior to getting out of school in the doctors office, as we were trying to determine if he has broken his finger (he is Matt's child, you know...).  On Wednesday night, he shut his pinky finger in the door after we got home from the swimming pool.  Needless to say, he was in quite a bit of pain and couldn't bend his finger very well.  After icing his finger down for about 45 minutes, I decided to forgo a trip to the ER and just check on things in the morning.  When we did, he was able to bend his finger a little better, but considering how swollen and purple it was, we decided to be safe.  So I dropped him off at school and told him I would call the doctor and get an appointment, but would make sure it was after 1 PM when he was back from his end-of-school picnic.

Yup.  Never should have uttered those words.

I put a call in to the doctors office and they only have an appointment in the morning.  His doctor and the back up we normally see weren't available in the afternoon.  Ug.  So I called the school, made arrangements with the principal to pick him up before the bus left for the park, and to deliver him when we were through to his teacher at the park so he could ride back on the bus and spend the rest of the day at school.

We go in to the doctor (me and both kids, including Tatum - her story to come) and are seen by the doctor, who decides we needed to get x-rays to rule out a break (just like Matt and I thought).  So, I got the orders for the x-ray, took Tatum back to her day care, and Kellen and I headed to the hospital.  Now, considering everything we had to do, we didn't have to wait all that long.  But to poor Kellen, who wanted nothing more than to get to the park for his class picnic, the waiting was brutal.  We got the x-rays and headed back over to the doctors office to get the results.  Once we got back there, we were ushered right in and told that no, it wasn't broken.

Thank God for small miracles!

We then hightailed it to the park, and made it there right at noon, giving my dear sweet Kellen a whole HOUR to spend at the park with his friends and classmates.

*Sigh*  It was the best I could do, which didn't sit all that well with him.

The end of the school year came the next day, and with a gift for his teacher in tow, he was off.  He got a wonderful report card (surprise, surprise) and had a great last week behavior wise.

Last week he lolly gagged with Maw Maw and Paw Paw at their house, and for the next two weeks, will be attending the YMCA day camp in Conroe.  He's going to have just oh-so-much fun this summer!

Oh, and apparently Matt informs me that between Mother's Day and some day last week, Kellen has grown a quarter of an inch.

Yowzers! 

Matt was packing his clothes for this week yesterday, and asked about a pair of shorts and whether they were 'play' shorts or good shorts.  With him growing like that, just about everything should be play shorts, because he's gonna be out of them by the end of the summer!

On to Tatum....
So the same Wednesday night that I took them both to the pool, I noticed that the top of her foot was red.  Really red.  Upon closer inspection, I see some bite marks on the side of her foot.  After the pool (and icing Kellen's finger) I gave her some Benadryl, thinking she was having a reaction to the bites (she is MY daughter, after all, and mosquitoes love us both).  Thursday morning we take a look at her foot to notice that the redness has spread, it's VERY hot to the touch (or even if you held your hand over it) and it's swollen.  So I took her to day care and told her I was going to call the doctor.

I was able to get an appointment for both kids at the same time relatively early in the morning, so yay!  The doctor walked into the room, started to ask what was going on with Tatum, saw her foot and stopped mid-sentence.

It was THAT obvious.

Diagnosis - cellulitis.  We drew an outline of the current redness, then he marked a spot further up on her calf and indicated that if the redness crept up to or past that line that we needed to bring her back in immediately.  Armed with a prescription to fight both strep-A and staph, we were ready to go with her.

So I did take her back to day care, let them know what was going on, dropped off her prescriptions at the pharmacy, then headed back to the hospital to finish up with Kellen.  After getting him squared away and dropped off at the park, I went back to the pharmacy, picked up the meds and went to day care.  And Tatum was asleep for her nap.  Ug.  So I couldn't give her the first dose of antibiotics.  I left day care with instructions that they call me if she seemed really uncomfortable and headed off to work.

A short time later, I got the call.  They indicated that her foot felt like it was on fire (and it did).  So I picked her up, headed home, gave her the first dose of her meds, put ice on her foot, and let her pick the movie of her choosing.

Whew!  She wanted lots of snuggles, didn't want me too far from her, but all-in-all, she was in a relatively good mood, considering.

Fast forward to now, and she's good.  We've just finished with the 10-day sequence of both of the medications, she didn't have some of the side effects we were concerned about (BIG yay on that one), and now we're just needing to be sure to keep her slathered with sunscreen and cooled down (the combination of antibiotics made her more susceptible to the sun and overheating, and those effects will linger for another handful of days).

She has the first of her swim lessons tonight and Wednesday night, and she's very much looking forward to going back to the pool!

Me and Jacey....
So the Texas heat and humidity are really getting to me.  I went in to my thyroid doctor today and he even commented on my 'edema'.  Isn't that such a nice word for saying you're bloated, swollen and/or retaining water?  Anyway, I go in for a check-up on Wednesday, and we'll schedule out our monitoring, which will include once a week ultrasounds, twice weekly non-stress tests, and the steroid shot sequence to try and mature Jacey's lungs.  I'm not exactly sure what that schedule will look like, but I'll know more on Wednesday. 

In case you're wondering, the extra monitoring is, at this point, a precaution.  Kellen had the cord wrapped around his neck (twice, if memory serves me) AND he had a knot in his cord.  Knowing either of those things would have made his delivery an automatic c-section, but we didn't know.  So with Tatum, we decided to monitor things a little closer there toward the end, just to be on the safe side, beginning at 32 weeks.  It was a good thing we did, because at 38 weeks I was told that the doctor didn't like the levels of her amniotic fluid and that I was going into the hospital to have her.  That night.  Non-elective. 

Just so you know, the phrase 'non-elective' is a VERY scary one.

Considering the history, we decided to begin the monitoring process at 32 weeks.  I am now 32 weeks and 2 days, and my appointment will be at 32 weeks and 4 days.  I'll be thrilled if all of the extra precautions are just that, but am thinking that realistically, I'll make it to 37-38 weeks.

She seems to be doing fine, is VERY active, and doesn't like to be squished.  At all.  By anything.  I can't wait to meet her, but am just trusting that it will happen when it's supposed to.

Kellen and Matt put up the crib this weekend, we went and got another crib mattress for it, and the bedding has been washed and is now in place.  So Jacey officially has a place to sleep now, which was something that apparently was bothering the kids quite a bit.

As for things at work, I'm trying to finish up projects and have the end of June or middle of July in most folk's mind with regard to when I should be slowing down.  I'll work right up until Jacey comes, so long as I'm able, but everyone around here needs a date or time frame to shoot for in order to wrap up projects that will be due while I'm out.  So that's what we're doing!

Last but not least, Matt.  He's still Matt, and doing the same ole, same ole.  And putting up with me and my end-of-pregnancy craziness.

Peace

I read this today and thought it worthy of sharing:

(We) experience Christ's peace when we realize that peace isn't the absence of pressure. It's the presence of God in the midst of our chaos.

-Micca Monda Campbell

For a few days (perhaps longer) I've been mulling on the fact that we shouldn't let our current circumstances dictate our attitude or actions.  Because you know what, those circumstances are fleeting, even if they don't feel like it at the time.  The only thing that is constant is God.  He's in control.  He has our circumstances, as crazy as they sometimes may seem to us, in His master plan.

Do you trust Him enough to lean on Him and be at peace in the midst of your chaos?

Craving

Surprisingly, despite the fact that I’m seven months pregnant, I’m not referring to a food craving here. Think back in your life to times when you can identify traveling through the valley. You know, times when circumstances seem bleak, you may be questioning "Why' certain things are occurring, and if you are anything like me (scary thought, perhaps) at those time you crave the Lord. You crave His word, time with Him, and do whatever you can to feel His presence.

Thinking about a particular time?

Well then, fast forward from that time to one shortly after, when the circumstances that caused your travel through the valley had changed - maybe a month or two after coming out of your valley. Did you still crave the Lord?

I hope you did.

Unfortunately, I find myself falling into an unhealthy pattern with regard to my personal peaks and valleys. During the 'valley-times' I am consistent in my quiet time, I seek God's guidance in virtually everything, stay in contact with people who can and will pray for me and hold me accountable, and have conversations in my head with Him almost all day long, trying to discern His guidance and grabbing hold of His promises. I understand my NEED for Him desperately during these times because my circumstances are simply too much for me.

But then something changes.

It certainly isn't Him, because He doesn't change. According to Hebrews 13:8 (NIV), we know that ‘Jesus Christ is the yesterday and today and forever.’ So the change that occurs must lead back to me. I change. When my circumstances aren't so bleak, when He's brought me out of yet another valley, I change. My attitude changes. My focus changes. For some strange reason, I feel like I can handle things on my own and I don't NEED Him as much. I don't seek Him as much, and my spiritual-discipline slowly fades away.

How crazy is that?

The very guidance, strength and promises that I NEED during the valleys are the same guidance, strength and promises I NEED when my circumstances have changed and He's now placed me on the top of the mountain. I NEED Him in all situations.

Is it any wonder that He continues to allow me to go through valleys, since it is during those times I'm closest to Him?

“Come near to God, and He will come near to you…” James 4:8 (NIV)

Lord, help me to draw closer to you not only in the valleys of my life, but in times when my arrogance and self-sufficiency rise up and I feel I can make it on my own. Help me to remember that no matter what my circumstances may be that my need for you never changes.

Stepping out

So I mentioned a few posts ago that the Lord has been speaking to me about venturing out in a specific direction.  To sum it up, I feel like I'm supposed to be using the situations that He's led me through in a more public way to help others.  You know, allow others to try and learn from my mistakes and experiences by illustrating God's help in getting through those various situations.

Well, I have been thinking on this for over a month, and I have come to realize why this has been such a struggle for me.  Is struggle the correct word?  I've been stagnant in this venture, but still feel called to move in that direction.  Let me clarify, I have figured out at least one reason, er...excuse, that I'm allowing to impede this journey. 

You see, many of the situations that I'm more comfortable sharing about that I've been through I consider "not my fault".  Dealing with postpartum depression - not my fault.  Struggles with raising strong-willed children - not my fault (or at least not ALL my fault).  Balancing breastfeeding while working full-time - not my fault, well, it was my choice, but really no 'fault' in that situation.  Losing one of the twins with this current pregnancy - not my fault (and yes, many of you are now probably scratching your head, saying, 'huh?' It's a story to come.)  I can handle discussing those issues, because I feel like the Lord has helped me through those issues when I was struggling, but I wasn't necessarily struggling because of my choices - or should I say my sin.

Because that's really why I've not moved forward with the one story that's already written - and has been for almost a month now.  What I went through and wrote about in that story was a clear result of my sin.  And although God led me through it and I'm a better person now because of the lessons He taught me then, I still find it difficult to discuss in a wide-open setting.  And the various possibilities for using the story I've written will all be in a wide-open setting, with my name attached.  My sin exposed.

The bottom line - I'm scared.

I have wrestled with asking myself this question, "What is it that I'm scared of?"

Here's what I've discovered, or at least what I've admitted to myself.

• Despite the fact that many people who know me might say that I'll do whatever without worrying about what people think, I DO actually worry about what people think. 
• I'm worried that people will judge me for my actions and question my decisions.
• I'm scared that I'll be embarrassed.
• I'm scared that people will look at and/or treat my differently.

But you know what, it shouldn't matter to me what other people think as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  What God has asked of me to do.

Even if people think less of me.
Even if people judge me.
Even if people questions my decisions.
Even if I'm embarrassed.
Even if people look at and treat me differently.

That should not matter to me, so long as I place my trust in the Lord and follow what He's asking me to do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6

I don't understand why I have gone through some of the things I have, but it's not for me to understand.  It's for me to simply trust that I went through, am going through, and will go through things in my life for a reason.  Those reasons may be revealed to me in time, but there is also just as likely of a chance that they will not.

And I need to be ok with that.

I need to be ok with doing WHAT God tells me to do, WHEN He tells me to do it, regardless of whether or not it makes sense to me.

Will you pray with me as I travel this road?

Your Work is Part of God's Plan

I received this via email today, and thought it was so good that I had to share it.  This really spoke to me, because sometimes I just get in a routine and forget that I'm doing what I'm doing because God put me here to do just that as part of a much bigger plan - one that I might not see for quite some time, or ever, here on earth.

Your work is part of God's plan


by Rick Warren

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

"The gifts, the abilities, the talents, even the interests you have -- they were genetically encoded into you by God."

Your work can be an act of worship. No matter what you do, it's never just a job if you are a believer. This is because God designed you with talents, gifts and interests that He wants used for His glory.

You are custom-made. There's nobody like you in the whole world. And the gifts, the abilities, the talents, even the interests you have -- they were genetically encoded into you by God. God made you with a specific mission in mind -- and He wants you to use the gifts he's given you in your work.

The Bible says you are God's workmanship. The Greek word used for workmanship is poema. That's where the English word poem comes from -- you are God's poem! You are God's work of art. You are God's masterpiece.

Your work is part of God's plan for your life and that is why, as you work, you worship God.

St. Jude Trike-a-Thon!

So today was the Trike-a-Thon at Tatum's school...doesn't she just look adorable??  She was SO EXCITED this morning as we took her bike and gear to school because she was GOING TO GET TO RIDE HER BIKE with all of her friends!  It was almost all she could talk about this morning, on the way to school, and then once we got inside the building.

So precious.

In case you're wondering, it's not too late to donate toward her riding in the Trike-a-Thon.  The funds are being donated to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, and you can donate directly online in support of Tatum's efforts.

Astros

They aren't Kellen's team this year (he's a member of the Phillies team), but he's having a hard time distinguishing between t-ball teams and the real deal.  After his game tonight, he told me that the worst part was that they had to play the Astros...'cause they're the team he really likes!

Funny boy.

Prayers for guidance

The Lord has been speaking to me about writing.  (Don't laugh, while you're taking into consideration how much the blog gets updated - or doesn't).  But I came across a website tonight and am going to pray and ask for guidance on whether or not I'm supposed to tweak and submit an article I wrote about a week or so ago.

In case you're wondering, the opportunity currently in front of me and something I just discovered was the submission process for Proverbs 31 Ministries magazine.

Pray with me for guidance?

She Speaks Scholarship Contest

On another blog I frequent, a writing contest for a scholarship to She Speaks was posted.  Although the timing is bad for me this year, with the conference scheduled right over my due date, I thought I would post the link for the scholarship and information about the conference here for anyone interested.

Family Update

It's been a while since I've just updated on everyone, and the moms board I'm on had a thread like this, so I thought I would take a quick moment to give an update on US.

Kellen is nearing the finish line of first grade (goodness where has the time gone??). He'll be tested this month for G/T (5 testing days for an hour each day) and we should know his placement mid-May. I'm not worried about it...he tends to get bored in school easily and when he does, he gets in trouble (not BAD trouble, but he's a class clown (can't imagine where he gets THAT from), talker, etc kind of kid), so we try to keep him busy. He's currently in t-ball (twice a week practices for another week and then who knows what the game schedule will look like), Tae Kwon Do (during Kids Klub one day a week), Cub Scouts (weekly den meetings and then monthly pack meetings), and Awana's at church. He has an AMAZING memory for scripture and blows me away nearly every week when we're practicing his scriptures for Awana's. He has such a sensitive spirit and is SUCH a wonderful big brother!

Tatum is 3 now, and I remember why I later scoffed at the 'terrible two's' even though they began at 18 months with both she and Kellen. The 3's are infinitely worse at our house! She (and Kellen) are both such strong willed children and some days are just exhausting. However, I'm blessed to have strong willed children that know their likes/dislikes...it's the molding of them that makes it all a challenge.  She's doing wonderfully at her daycare, and is participating in KinderTots (combo dance and gymnastics) once a week there. She's Kellens biggest cheerleader at his sporting events, and wants to get out there and play right along with the boys. She's oh-so princess yet such a down and dirty tomboy. And despite the strong willed challenges, she is so sweet! She's my snuggler, and I am trying to get as many snuggle moments as I can with her before #3 comes along.

Speaking of #3, we settled on a first name for peanut, Jacey. We're still working on a middle name, but I'm feeling better about the fact that she has a name other than peanut now. However, the kids are still calling her peanut, so I'm thinking that nickname might stick for a while. I'm over 23 weeks along, and July seems like it's speeding toward me.  I'm pretty much past the nausea now (yes, I know...I'm quite far along to still have been struggling with that some days), but am still having random food aversions.  Peanut butter sandwiches, grilled cheese sandwiches, and cereal are my staples.  And Freeb!rds burritos seem to be my constant craving.  And Olive Garden salad.  Yummy!

Work for me is pretty much the same...still incredibly busy but I get lots of reminders that I'm exactly where I need to be. One of the presentation proposals that I'm part of (group of 3) was just accepted as a pre-conference workshop for the annual advising conference to be held in October, so I'm trying to figure out the funding to go along with that travel.  It's a huge honor to have been selected for a pre-conference workshop: the session is longer than a regular conference session AND the participants have to pay an additional cost on top of the conference registration fee to attend.  Wow!  I think I'm still in a little bit of shock about it but am very excited!

Matt is still working from Conroe selling insurance, commuting back and forth 2-3 days a week and working from the house the other days. With his work schedule and the kids activities, I feel like I don't get out much for me, but we're surviving!  Our house may not stay clean, but the kids are loved and happy, and that counts a whole lot more in my book!

We have a winner!

Well, Friday was Matt's birthday, and despite the fact that he added a year to his age on Facebook, I think he had a pretty good day.  Both of the kids were out of school on Friday, but TAMU was up and running (at least for faculty/staff), so I went to work while he stayed home with the kids.  Shortly before his parents were slated to arrive (we ended up going out to eat with them Friday night), I sighed and told Matt that I really wanted us to work on a name for peanut.

He started playing on name websites, I got out my phone, which holds the 'list' of names that I had compiled, then whittled down (based on popular names of 2009), and off we went.  We had a couple of 'maybe's' from him for those on my list: Aliza (joyful); Bianca (white); Leala (faithful, loyal), but we really weren't both sold on any of those yet.  I had already vetoed Riley (which was # 109 in 2009, putting it on the officially ok list, but was 36 in 2008 and 52 in 2007, which in my opinion was just too common too recently for me).  So Riley got the official veto.  Matt wasn't liking Shilo (God's gift), so we were still in the looking phase.  Well, he starts rattling names off of whatever website he was on, and said "Jacey."  It apparently means healer and is of Greek origin.  And it's in the 800's on the most popular names list.

So, we both really like it and it's official.  Peanuts' real name is now Jacey.

We're still working on her middle name, so stay tuned.....

Nice...

Nice things....

1. Terrible two's that began at 18 months (with both kids).  Really.  'Cause they are NOTHIN' compared to how my kids act once they turn 3.  There should be a word to go along with the 3's, but it has to be much worse than terrible.  Tatum reminded me about how much trouble the 3's were on Monday and Tuesday evenings when we were attending functions as she morphed into a monster.

2.  Strong willed children.  Because really, I would rather have strong willed children who stand up for what they believe in than one who is swayed by whatever.  I must continually repeat this as I deal with the molding of said strong willed children.

3.  Reminders about how great the Mommy hat is that I wear.  They come in the form of, "Mommy, you're the best Mommy ever.  Did you know that?"  Tatum said this to me tonight after asking who bought her the ballerina outfit she was putting on and I answered that I had.

4.  The love my kids have for each other.  It's demonstrated in so many ways.  Kellen will crawl into Tatum's bed to snuggle with her just because.  It's demonstrated in the 'hero saving the princess from the monster' games that are currently taking place as I type this.  And in the fact, that many a morning, I see two little heads walking into my room, hand-in-hand, to climb into Mommy and Daddy's bed.  And because Kellen will throw a fit if someone other than him makes lunch for Tatum to take to school.  And when Tatum insists to go with me into Kids Klub to pick Kellen up from school.  And in the 'let me help you' I'm now hearing from Kellen as he's trying to calm and soothe her since she just hurt herself.

Rollin' along

I had the dreaded glucose test today, and oddly enough, the orange drink was better tasting than I remember it being the last time I ingested it.  Changes in the recipe, perhaps?  Who knows.  I'm not calling it great, but I didn't have that hard of a time getting it down, either.

Last night I asked Kellen to help me remember NOT to eat when I woke up, showed him the orange drink, and told him I was taking a special test in the morning using the orange drink.  When I went into he and Tatum's room this morning to check on them and wake them up, Tatum woke with her usual happy-go-lucky, morning person self and Kellen yawned, rolled his head to face me, and mumbled, "Mommy, remember that you can't eat anything this morning because of your test."  It was just the sweetest thing!  He then got up, got dressed, and headed out to the kitchen, where Daddy has assembled quite the feast for their breakfast, opened the refrigerated and then proceeded to hand me my orange drink, "Here's the special drink for your test, Mommy."  He was just the sweetest thing!

He and Tatum both were oh-so-concerned about me as I clocked myself drinking the juice, and then made note of the finish time.  I think they were wanting to see the next step, and didn't quite understand that it wasn't taking place in the dining room, but at the doctors office.

I had a quick visit with the nurse, passed the glucose test apparently with flying colors, and then chatted with the doctor for a bit.  I have another sonogram scheduled for Monday, just to get all bone measurements, since Peanut was facing the wrong way and a little uncooperative for those measurements during the last u/s.  Then I'll see the doctor in another month!  So far, so good with how things are progressing.

Medical updates aside, last week was spring break, and we had a variety of activities planned for my actual days off.  The shot at the doctors office apparently worked pretty well, because I felt pretty well Thursday and Friday.  A little too well, perhaps, as I seemed to overdo it and paid for it on Saturday and Sunday.  At any rate, Thursday we went to 7 Acre Wood where the kids played for HOURS.  Tatum was enthralled with the animals, petting the llamas, goats, and riding the pony.  She loved the pony so much that she rode it twice, then proceeded to ask Paw Paw to buy her a pony.  I think we might have brought a quarter of their dirt and sand back with the kids, actually.

On Friday we headed into downtown Houston and went to The Downtown Aquarium.  The kids just LOVE that place!  Tatum was really into it this year, more than last year, but she still wouldn't pet the stingrays.  Go figure.  We timed it just right to watch the switching of the tigers and then enrichment at the tiger exhibit, and then made it outside in time for the live animal show and was able to take our picture with one of the animals.  (I'm trying to upload the pictures into a program so that I can link the slideshow on here, we'll see how that works.  So far it's uploaded 36% of the pictures in the time that I've been typing, so I may have to add that slideshow at a later date.  If you're on Facebook, check out my photo album.)

As I already mentioned, Saturday and Sunday were a bit of a blur for me, as I just layed around and realized that I had overdone it.  I'm sure the kids had plenty of fun on Saturday with their Maw Maw, Paw Paw and Daddy and then Daddy on Sunday, but I slept through most of it, so I can't really comment too terribly much on those activities.  Except that I do know that Kellen, Daddy and Maw Maw went shopping and bought Kellen an Easter outfit that is a surprise for me.  Kellen doesn't want me to see it until he puts it on Easter morning.  I have no idea why that is, but that's ok.

So right now, things seem to be rollin' right along.  Kellen started t-ball this week, our family organizational and scheduling skills need to step it up a notch to handle two nights a week of practice, but yesterday afternoon went really well.  I found out today that I was selected to model for a local photographer who wanted some maternity bellies for some ideas he has, so I'll do that in a couple of weeks and then get another shoot once Peanut gets here.  I'm really looking forward to that because despite my desires to do so, I haven't gotten maternity pictures actually done with any of my pregnancies.  Taking pictures of myself in the mirror or handing Matt or my parents the camera and trying desperately to get some belly shots and belly shots with Kellen minutes before I left to go to the hospital didn't exactly fulfill my 'maternity picture' ideals.  We'll see how the shoot goes.

Despite the hectic nature of life right now, God is giving me calm.  And I am really enjoying it.

More updates...

So for one, it's spring break.  And I'm officially off of work.  For some reason, I had been working under the illusion that I had Wednesday through Friday off when in actuality it was just Thursday and Friday.  I came to that realization last week.  And I've been mourning the loss of that 'vacation' day in my head since then.

But you know what, it all worked out ok.  IF I had been off of work, I most likely wouldn't have been in town.  And I would have delayed going in to see anyone about my sore throat, coughing, and occasional sneezing, despite the fact that I've just felt 'off' for the last (almost) week.  And the bronchitis would have gotten MUCH worse.

Yes, I have bronchitis again.  I must be very good at bronchitis, or at least a good hostess to it, because it seems to come and visit me often.  I also apparently have fluid behind my ears.  My mother so brilliantly pointed out to me that might explain my dizziness and feeling faint when I go from a sitting or kneeling position to standing up.  Never crossed my mind until she said that, but it certainly seems to explain things.  At least a better explanation than, 'Oh, I'm just pregnant.'  My sinus cavities are also apparently clogged.  Blessings come in all shapes and sizes, because the PA was very surprised I hadn't been having headaches or pressure because of this.  Nope.  This might also explain, in part at least, why I'm having trouble sleeping.  Because if you can't breathe very well when you're sitting up, which apparently I cannot, due to all of my blockage, breathing when you're trying to lie down is quite a bit more difficult.  Again, a much better explanation than, 'Oh, I'm just pregnant.'  And it was apparently a good thing that I went in when I did and caught it early, because in the PA's words, 'You would have been in urgent care later this week or this weekend,' if I hadn't come in today.

So, a shot of rocephin (and I have no clue as to whether or not I'm spelling that correctly, but whatever) and a prescription for an antibiotic and mucinex D later, I went back to work.  Limped back to work that is.  Those shots are painful!  I'm still feeling the effects of the actual shot tonight!

Oh, and did you know that pharmacies aren't allowed to sell you mucinex D through the window?  As in drive through window that I thought would be much quicker for getting my prescription?  It wasn't.  Who knew?

At any rate, the antibiotic shot should get my healing process started much quicker, and maybe this round of bronchitis won't wipe me out for a month like the last one did.  But hey, I didn't wait nearly as long to go into the doctor this time, did I?

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes, and who knew that my having to work a day I thought I was getting off would help me out in this way?

Peanut cooperated

So for those of you who read this on occasion and don't have a Facebook profile, I realized that I have neglected to update the world via this format on the gender of peanut.

Peanut was fairly cooperative when Matt and I went in for the ultrasound, and gave us a fairly clear view of HER bottom. 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we're having another girl!

It's been a couple of weeks now since we found out, and Tatum has adjusted quite nicely to the idea.  She's having a hard time with grasping that she'll be both a little sister AND a big sister.  She continues to think that she'll be a little sister and a big brother.  Go figure.  We're working on it...

As for Kellen, it seems as though he truly feels he'll never get to speak again.  He's blessed with one complete chatterbox of a sister, and thinks that is how all girls are.  So in his mind, if he has a hard time getting a word in edgewise now, it's never gonna happen when there are two of them hanging around.  We'll have to be sure and give him some one-on-one time so that he can actually talk with us!  And perhaps not come down on him too hard when he interrupts, because I can't entirely say that I'll blame him.

When I did mention that the two girls will most likely share a room when Peanut (no, we still haven't settled on a name yet) gets a little older, Kellen's response was a very sad, "But who am I going to share a room with?"  So I guess the results are in with the room-sharing experiment.  They really like being in the same room!

Happy Birthday sweet Tatum!

3 years ago Tatum came into the world and forever changed my life. She brings such joy to each and every day and I cannot imagine my family without her. Happy birthday, Tatum!!

She realized today that it was REALLY her birthday.  She's been calling herself three since the party on Saturday, and it didn't make much sense to try and correct her.  Maw Maw apparently tried to tell her yesterday that her actual birthday was today, but she didn't accept that.  This morning; however, after she and I talked about it, she ran around the house singing "Happy birthday" to herself and having a grand ol' time.  She is so precious.

I realized again today just how truly blessed I am.  Some of the reasons for that continued realization and reminder are fodder for another post, so I'll get back to them later.

After picking her up, we swung by the house, she watched an episode of "Yo Gabba Gabba" then we went to pick up her brother.  The surprise was then ON...to McDonald's we went for a treat dinner.  And the additional surprise was that I had called Nikki and arranged for Logan and Kylie to play with the kids for her birthday.  She had asked about them earlier in the day, so we were able to connect so they could have a birthday play date.  Then back to the house for a birthday cupcake and cake, then off to the bath and bed...

Goodnight world, and Lord, help me never to forget how truly blessed I am with the wonderful children you have bestowed on Matt and I to raise.

Family update

Well, I went in for a regular appointment today, and a month ago the doc told me I would leave this appointment with the 'reveal' scheduled.  As we chatted, I asked when I would be finding out...his reply, "Schedule it, then come back and see me in a month."  So, I went to set up the appointments before I left the office and lo and behold, there was an opening for TOMORROW with the sonographer.  Sooooo, if peanut cooperates, we'll know the gender of our family bookend tomorrow shortly after 1 PM.  Oh, and if you missed it, we're having our #3.  I'm 17 weeks and a handful of days, with a due date of July 31st.

Both of the kids want a baby brother.  Some friends insist that the fact that they BOTH want a brother MUST mean I'm having a girl.  Others say that kids are pretty accurate (Kellen was with Tatum!).  My office co-workers did the string and pencil trick over my belly today and it went in a circle, which apparently means a girl.

Who knows?

But, we'll find out tomorrow (at least if peanut is cooperative).

In other news, we're gearing up for Tatum's third birthday party this weekend.  After asking her repeatedly who she wanted to come to her party, we settled on her very consistent answer, and are going with a low-key party with three friends plus Kellen.  So as I type, the kids are picking up stray toys, book, articles of clothing, and other miscellaneous stuff from around the house in preparation for the carpet cleaning which will commence tomorrow (preparations made courtesy of Matthew...he's desperate to get the carpets cleaned and stretched).  I'm hopeful for a nice day so we can go out in the backyard, but since our weather has had the equivalent of bipolar mood swings lately, I'm not banking on that and have back-up indoor activities ready to go.  I went and picked out princess party gear yesterday (instead of going home after our department closed down due to inclement weather).  I now have pink and purple princess plates, napkins, cups, goody bags, and a purple Happy Birthday tiara for the birthday princess.

Speaking of inclement weather, we had SNOW yesterday!  And enough of it for the kids to have a snowball fight.  No snow angels or snowmen, much to Aunt Boo's dismay, I'm sure, but they had fun outside nonetheless.  Even if their fun only lasted for as long as it took for the snow to make their gloves wet.  Which, in case you're wondering, is about five minutes.  And then all schools (at least the ones I'm concerned with) didn't open up as scheduled this morning.  Tatum's daycare opened at 9:35, Kellen's school started at 9:50, and TAMU opened at 10.

In case you're wondering, snow day + cold night + delayed school startings = ONE LAZY MORNING at the Hapes household.  And it was VERY nice.